Caregiving Doesn’t Slow Down… But Sometimes We Need To

As caregivers, we spend so much time responding, fixing, managing, and pushing through…

that we often forget to check in with ourselves.

In this bonus episode of The Caregiver Cup Podcast, we’re slowing things down for a gentle pause and reflection on what may be “boiling under the surface.”

Together, we talk about:
 ☕️ Emotional overload and overwhelm
 ☕️ The subtle signs we may be carrying too much
 ☕️ Why slowing down matters
 ☕️ Reflection as release
 ☕️ And giving yourself permission to pause before your cup overflows

If you’ve been feeling mentally foggy, emotionally heavy, or simply not like yourself lately…

this episode is for you.

👉 Your cup doesn’t have to overflow before you deserve a refill. 💛

Transcript

Welcome And A Listener Story

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, hello, my friend, and welcome to another episode of the Caregiver Cup Podcast in season three. It's Kathy here, and I am so glad you joined me. I first of all want to thank you for all of the text messages and responses that I'm getting. And by the way, I want to share a text message from a listener that stopped me in my tracks, and it definitely resonated with this episode we're going to talk about today. The text message said, Good morning, Kathy, as I lay here in my bed listening to the podcast, it resonated in so many ways. I recently, like most days, had a hundred things to take care of. I was exhausted and after running an errand, I was in a hurry to get home. And out of nowhere, as I walked out of church, I missed a step, broke my foot, and sprained my ankle. I was so upset. I had rented a house to take some time for myself. How would I go now? I spoke to the doctor and he said, you definitely need to go. So in a bootcast and all, I'm going to the ocean for a week, and a friend said that they would take me and stay the week. I thank you so much, Kathy, for being there and helping and understanding this caregiving journey. God bless you. We converse back and forth now, and I'm so glad that this new feature now I can reply back to you with just a short response. I think I have 300 characters. Um, and so we converse back and forth. And her one final thought was the golden nugget that I wanted to share today. Point being, as caregiver, she said, we need to not only take care of ourselves, but to slow down, especially those of us who are getting older. Slowing down ensures that we pay attention to our surroundings and that there's no need to rush. Hope this makes sense. Well, then I said, what struck me, you know, what struck me wasn't the broken foot. I told her it was how familiar the story felt. And for us today, how familiar this story of rushing does. Because as caregivers, we are rushing, rushing, pushing, running, carrying, all of that. And sometimes our bodies force us to slow down. Caregiving doesn't slow down, but sometimes caregivers needs and our need is to slow down.

Rushing And The Cost Of It

SPEAKER_00 2:37

So throughout this season, we've talked about burnout and anger and resentment and overwhelm and negative self-talk in this season three. But here's the question I have for you today. What are you carrying today that hasn't been released? What are you carrying today that hasn't been released? Because the emotions don't disappear. They often simmer like a pot on a stove. And for and first it's barely noticeable, but then bubbles begin. Then the steam. Then eventually that pot boils over. And sometimes the signs that something is boiling under the surface aren't dramatic. Sometimes they're subtle. For me, when overwhelm starts building, I notice it in small ways first, like forgetting things. I know you can relate. I would forget names. And I just saw that person the day before, like when Dennis was in the hospital. The nurses would come in and I'd forget their name. And thank goodness, most of the time I could see their name tag, or I would ask Dennis, who is that again? Or I'd forget my keys, even forgetting to take my own medication sometimes. And then there are the moments when I simply don't feel like myself. Have you have you felt that way? I remember appointments with Dennis when normally I'd walk in prepared because advocacy was like advocacy comes easy to me. Asking probably too many questions, being prepared and focused when I walk into appointments, ready with questions and ready to advocate for my mom or my dad, or now it's Dennis. But during some seasons, my brain would feel soggy, or it would feel like there was nothing there anymore. I would, there would be days that I'd struggle to communicate clearly, or I'd forget important details, or I'd come in not prepared. I didn't feel mentally present. And Dennis would look at me and he goes, What's wrong? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just off today. I think I'm just tired or overwhelmed. And afterwards, I remember thinking, What is wrong with me? But looking back now, there was nothing wrong with me. I was just overwhelmed. My body, my mind, my emotions were carrying more than I could process well. And my friend, that's why slowing down matters. Poor Kathy, that's who texted me. You know, her ankle and her foot were her body signs of slowing down. I don't ever want that, Kathy, and I hope you're recovering well. Because when we pause, we miss the signals.

When Emotions Start To Simmer

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Yeah. So I want to just kind of wrap up my introduction by saying most emotional spills don't happen suddenly. They've often been simmering for a long time. And this is what I want to talk about in this episode today. So, my friend, that's exactly why slowing down matters. Because when caregiving gets busy and busier and busier and overwhelming and emotionally heavier, we spend so much time surviving the day that we stop checking in with ourselves. As a matter of fact, you're just in go mode and you don't even think about it. We just move from appointment to medications to phone calls to responsibilities to the next thing that needs our attention. I know some of you are juggling, you know, your work and managing your family and caregiving a parent. Some of us are in this chronic disease where it's day in and day out and it's just constant caregiving. Some of us are caregiving, but the caregiving may seem heavy, but the emotional burden of that person going through this disease or the situation isn't getting any better. And somewhere in all of that, we stop noticing what's happening inside of us. I know for me, there were seasons when I was for so focused on keeping everything together that I didn't even realize how much I was carrying emotionally. And what comes to mind right now is uh again, last year at this time, Dennis was readmitted. He got out after his 30 days. He was at Kathy's house for a week, and then he got readmitted because he had uh chronic digestive issues where he couldn't keep anything down. And so here I was trying to go ahead and figure out, you know, how, you know, how I could advocate for him, what was the next step. And then I had issues at home with their conditioning unit, and I had to try to figure out how I could be home and who could take care of X, Y, and Z and how to take care of him. I wasn't even thinking of myself. I wasn't pausing long enough to hear what my mind, body, and heart was trying to tell me. And honestly, I think a lot of caregivers live here in that, especially in those hard seasons. And we're always responding, we're always fixing, we're always moving, uh, but very little time reflecting.

Reflection Creates Choices And Relief

SPEAKER_00 8:54

And that's why reflection matters so much, because reflection creates awareness and awareness, it creates choices and options for us. When you slow down long enough to notice, you start recognizing you. I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed, I'm carrying resentment, I'm grieving, I'm not okay right now. And sometimes simply naming what you're feel feeling creates a sense of relief. It's kind of like admitting that. I remember then when I did slow down and I finally got back from the air conditioning, and they started, Dennis started improving in his second hospital stay. I would call my son Mark, and I just would bawl. Because I started recognizing the heaviness what I was carrying. Because my friend, you can't release what you refuse to acknowledge. You can't release it until you acknowledge what you're feeling, and that's really what this episode is about. It's not about fixing it and fixing everything, but slowing down long enough to hear what may be boiling under the surface. I actually think your instinct is right here. For this bonus episode episode, I will not make journaling a full teaching section because I think a lot of you either journal or you don't don't journal, because this episode feels strongest as maybe a pause, a breath, a reflection, and an emotional permission. Now, if you want to journal, go for it. Um, but if you want to just pause and reflect because journaling feels just like another task for you, that. And honestly, slowing down the emotional momentum is could be just a simple reflection. So now this is going to be a short episode, and I I just have two more little sections here. So before I close, I don't want to give you homework,

One Question To Say Out Loud

SPEAKER_00 11:31

I don't want to overwhelm you with a long list of reflection questions because honestly, as caregivers, we already care too much. Instead, I want to just invite you to pause. If anything, acknowledge what you're feeling and then pause. You're not going to fix everything, you're not going to uh solve everything, but you can notice things, and then as you work through it, you can maybe find little little small steps to go ahead and release some of that. Maybe quietly you ask yourself one question. What do I wish I could say out loud right now? What could I wish I could say out loud right now? And as a matter of fact, if you have a confidant, if you have a person that you connect with, give them this question. And when you are in this overwhelm stage, pull this, have them pull this question out. Or put this in your in your notes on your phone or a sticky note on your mirror. What do I wish I could say out loud right now that I didn't say out loud? Yeah, and it may be something that you're not proud of, or you're you don't feel like it's appropriate to say, but it is. Maybe you just want to run away right now, and then you bring out the why. You know, it could be something like that. So, my friend, that answer may surprise you. Maybe your answer to what do I wish I could say out loud, maybe it's exhaustion. Maybe I am just tired and I don't want to do this anymore. Maybe it's grief, maybe you miss your loved one because you're you're the old loved one that you had. Maybe it's fear of the unknown. Maybe it's resentment, and you just don't want this anymore, and you resent your loved one's disease because it's robbed you of everything right now. Maybe it's simply I'm just tired. I'm just tired, and I don't see any hope. And whatever comes up, I don't want you to judge yourself. Just acknowledge it. We've been talking about this in previous episodes, but it's good to hear over and over and over again because this is something that we have to build as a corporate trainer and as an educator for my Fortune 100 company that I worked at for 35 years. We always said you have to see it or hear it seven times for it to become part of your mind and an automatic thought for you. So don't judge yourself because emotions that are ignored often keep boiling until this, until they surface, or a teapot will keep boiling and it'll keep whistling for you until you actually pull it off and acknowledge it. And if journaling helps you, this is a beautiful question to write it, write about. But reflection doesn't have to happen at a desk. Maybe it's during your walk. Maybe it's sitting quietly with your cup of coffee asking yourself, what do I wish I could say out loud? Maybe it's watching the birds at the feeder. I have a bird feeder and I love just watching the birds. Maybe it's on your drive and you turn off the radio and you're just in silence. Maybe it's Kathy now sitting at the at her uh rented home and she's sitting by the ocean. Or it's taking one deep breath before walking back into your house. Because sometimes the most healing thing we can do is stop long enough to help ourselves again, to recharge. And maybe this week your only goal is to create a little more pause, a little more breathing room, a little more awareness because my friend, the pause itself may be what starts the healing for you.

Your Beach, Your Rest, Your Refill

SPEAKER_00 16:14

And before I close today, now I want to say thank you. I want to thank you for listening as a caregiver. I want to say to every person that is out there sharing this podcast, thank you. To everyone sending messages, text, and stories, thank you. It keeps us going. Your stories matter, your honesty matters. This community is what makes up the Caregiver Cup podcast and makes it so special because every time you reach out, another caregiver realizes I'm not alone. I get more fuel to go ahead and share it. And I want you to know that our stories are so different and our situations and our backgrounds are different, but we're all the same. I want you to know that you are not alone. And I want to just put on my little brag hat a little bit because of you. The Caregiver Cup podcast was recently recognized May of 2026 in two cat in two places. The Caregiver Cup is ranked number one best caregiver podcast on good pods. That's another um podcast application. It was ranked number one. I'm also ranked number one, the Caregiver Cup podcast, as the best caregiver stress management podcast by FeedSpot. Feed Spot is an email magazine that goes out to different categories, and there's a category for caregivers, and this magazine can be purchased. And we were ranked number one. Thanks to you for going ahead and giving the stars, sharing your reviews, giving the text messages. And truly, that belongs to all of us who have listened here. So please, for me, keep sharing this podcast. If you know a caregiver, if you know somebody

Thanks, Rankings, And Share The Show

SPEAKER_00 18:34

that might be in need, share it with them. It's absolutely free for them to listen to. If they don't want to listen, fine. If they want to listen, then we're helping them. Keep sharing your messages with me. There's a message link always in the show notes. Tell me your thoughts, tell me your ideas, tell me your struggles, tell me your successes. Keep supporting it, and I will keep sharing messages with you. We'll respond back and forth. I will go ahead and share some of those on this podcast as well. Because your voice, your story, your honesty may be exactly what another caregiver needs to hear. And finally, I love that the listeners really the listeners have told. I'm sorry, I love the fact that Kathy's doctor, I mean, told her to go. That means, you know, there are people advocating for us. There are people out there that are caregivers that do understand. And we need that time to recharge. So if you can, and maybe you can't rent a house, or maybe you can't go for a week, maybe you can't even go for a day, maybe it's an hour sitting out on the lawn chair on the patio while your loved one naps. I want you to go to your beach, whatever that would be, just like Kathy is going to hers, because she's going to rest, she's going to receive help, and most importantly, she's going to slow down. And maybe that's today's reminder for all of us. You do not have to earn rest. You do not have to wait until you break down. You do not have to wait until your body forces you to pause. Because your cup doesn't have to overflow before you actually refill it because you deserve a refill. And that's so important. So I hope this podcast episode connected with you today and you found something great out of it. Go ahead and hit that message button and tell me what your thoughts are. And next week we'll have another piece of season three. Um, I didn't even look what the next piece is going to be yet, but it's gonna follow this theme where we are going to be going ahead and talking about overwhelm and burnout and ways to go ahead and continuing to help ourselves maintain our cup and avoiding this spell. So until next time,

Closing Reminder You Are Not Alone

SPEAKER_00 21:25

my friend, take care and remember you deserve a refill and you are not alone. Bye for now.