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Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.
Follow me by clicking on the links below:
Well, hello there If you're listening to this on the Tuesday that the episode comes out. Happy Halloween, welcome to a spooky Halloween special on the caregiver podcast. It's Kathy here Today I'm exploring the terrifying world of energy vampires that often linger in the minds of us as caregivers. Join me for a thrilling discussion as I uncover the ghoulish challenges that drain our energy and keep us from being the empowered caregivers that we strive to be. So what is that energy vampire? Right, an energy vampire is someone who is simply draining to be around. You feel exhausted after you talk to them, and if you're dealing with them on a day to day basis, you are exhausted. And so, don't worry, we all have these people in our lives or we know of people. When we connect with them and you leave there and you're just exhausted or they suck all the energy out of you, the first step towards protecting your energy is to learn how to recognize those energy vampires in your life.
Speaker 1:So I thought of a few, and I'm sure that you're going to think of others. The first one I think about is a coworker, that is, somebody that is constantly complaining. Maybe they're complaining about their job, or the boss, or having to work a certain way. When you have for example, when you have enough stress in your life from caregiving, all you want to do is get your work done and get back to your busy life of caregiving. I've had this in my six plus years of caregiving, where I worked a full time job. Up until last January I worked full time and I have dealt with coworkers that have messaged me or texted me or wanted to talk after a meeting because they didn't agree about something, and it's okay to be able to vent or listen to it. But you know those people that are constantly going to come back to you and they just suck the living energy out of you and then your mind goes to somewhere else in that negative space and you're just exhausted from it. Or perhaps it's your parent who criticizes everything that you do or focuses on the negativity and make, or maybe makes you feel guilty for showing up late or looking tired. I had this on occasion with my mom when she was in a bad state, where she wasn't feeling well or her emotions weren't right. I would come in and she would just bring me down with her negativity. Or if I would say you know, I can't be here tomorrow until three o'clock because I have a meeting at work. She would make me feel guilty. Or I would go ahead and explain something to her and she'd say you look so tired. And I'm like, yes, I'm tired, but that whole visit would be negative or distraught, or and when, and I would leave there feeling exhausted and I was only there for an hour or two.
Speaker 1:Or think about another example that comes to mind is a friend of yours wants to be updated on everything about your loved one's condition, like I have a friend of mine that wants to know everything about what's happening in the world and what's happening in my husband's world. And then, if I don't connect with her, she asks is what asked me why I'm not sending her updates or why I'm not connecting with her in a week or so? And it just exhausts me for having to explain myself to that versus just saying, well, it's great, I'm so glad to hear from you how things going. That would have been a better way. But to go ahead and saying, well, I thought something was wrong, you haven't texted me in a week, and then I'm like, oh yeah, so those are for me. Those are the three examples that come to mind.
Speaker 1:I bet you're thinking of a few energy vampires yourself right now, and I get it. It's especially hard when they are people you love, or, more specifically, your sick loved one or your loved one that you're caring for. It's hard, but if you're an empath person, which means you're more sensitive sensitive to your energy, or you're in a sensitive state or season of caregiving, it can be extra difficult to deal with their negativity or their persistency or their gossip, whatever it would be. Now that you know energy vampires and who they are, and maybe you've identified some of them in your mind, let's talk about what it does to you from a trigger perspective, because it's funny, because some days I can deal with them and some days I'm just triggered, and so the first thing that you need to do is identify what makes you feel drained, and then you can drain. And then what is it in that person?
Speaker 1:So let's talk about the types of energy vampires, like the pessimistic people who are negative or always complaining. That triggers me. Somebody that's just a Debbie Downer, sorry to the Debbie's of the world, I would get it when they would say chatty, cathy's, and I would say Cathy isn't chatty, she's just energetic. But I truly am kind of chatty but pessimistic people, those people that can't see the glass half full. They see it half empty. They look at the rain and saying, oh, it's a bad day versus, instead of looking at it as the grass needed to be watered. Those are the people that are always negative, always complaining. They might be always gossiping or always looking at things from a bad perspective. Another one would be a jealous person or jealousy, and that could be in that vampire, that that energy vampire, or it could be something deep down inside of you. But deep down, jealous people are insecure and since they aren't happy, it's hard for them to be happy for others. This can cause them to lash out at you or bully you or saying something that is inappropriate.
Speaker 1:I've had this happen to me before and I was always a runner and I would tell people I was always excited to tell them that I'm I've ran marathons, half marathons, I've done nine half marathons and I was training for a half marathon. So I'd have watched what I would eat and I would need to take time in the morning to train and there would be people that would say, well, that would never be me and they would laugh or they would. They would say how could you do that Versus good for you or not say anything at all? My dad and mom always said if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all. And those are the. Those are the energy suckers, or the people that lash out and say something that's not appropriate.
Speaker 1:Another one is people that blame their problems on others. Instead of taking accountability, they expect others to make them happy and so, yeah, they blame the situation. And versus just processing it and going ahead and moving forward or this is my biggest trigger is judgmental people. These folks judge others and they enjoy gossiping about them. They judge them for doing something or or taking the time Judgmental people. In my caregiving world in my six and a half years, people may judge me for going ahead and going out for dinner with a girlfriend or taking time for myself, or starting my business and starting podcasting, knowing that I had a good job and I'm caregiving for my mom and I'm caregiving for my husband. How in the world do you fit podcasting into it? And then I hear that they've been talking about me and I have to just remember don't get into that space, don't fight that battle. They have their opinions and if they want to be an energy vampire to others. You don't have to be an energy vampire to me, and we'll talk about that Now.
Speaker 1:As caregivers, I know we can identify some others and they may fit into these categories, but I thought about these as I was identifying some of my own personal triggers. What about the nosy people? They want to know everything. They want to know everything that's happening and I have a couple of videos that I've done a couple of relatives that will call me and want to dig deep into the personal caregiving stuff with my mom, or they wanted to dig deep into the personal caregiving stuff with my dad or my husband, and I know that they don't need to know some of this, but they continue to ask. I cringe when people ask me specific things about how much is that going to cost? Or how much did that cost you. Like I would share somebody. I bought a new dress because I have a wedding coming up for my niece and instead of saying that's gorgeous, it looks beautiful on you, they come out and say how much did that cost? And I'm like for me that that isn't, it's an inappropriate question to ask, and so that that's one that triggers me a little bit, or an overly sharing person, that meaning that they share their opinions, their advice and much more.
Speaker 1:My mom had implants put in for her teeth. That's what she wanted, that's what made her feel special, because she had terrible, terrible teeth. And so she decided, instead of going through and having caps done and having all of the dentures and all of the other things done, she just wanted to have implants done, and she wanted it being done in two visits and being done with it. Well, the nosy person asked how much it was, and then the overly sharing same person said gave their opinion about her age and advice and all of these horror stories, and couldn't believe it, and it was hard to sit there and smile and listen to it. Versus I kind of got defensive and said that's my mom's choice, it's nobody else's choice but my mom's and that's what she wants to do. And so that triggered me.
Speaker 1:Another one that I thought about is a critical person. This may fall into the judgmental category, but they point out things that you are doing wrong or you could do better, or ask well, why did you do something like that? Versus you're in this caregiving role and you're doing the best you can and you've never been in this situation before, and you're learning as you go, and so that's just something that you'll do. You know, why didn't you ask about the side effects of that drug that your loved one had, and now they have an allergic reaction? Well, why wouldn't you have asked for that in advance? And so they're looking at the outside end, being critical which kind of reminds me of the whole social media thing. People are silent, care, what do they call them? Keyboard warriors that are commenting and making judgment and being critical when they've never walked your shoes before.
Speaker 1:So, as you can see, my voice got really angry for a little bit, but those are some of the that, the triggered people, or energy vampires that trigger me. Of course, we've all engaged of some of these behaviors at one time or another, and I you have to remember, none of us are perfect, and so, depending on our moods and the situation, we all have a reaction, but you have to identify what triggers you. The problem with energy vampires, though, is their dominant traits are often negative. They're often, they're often personally promoted by them, and they're not sincere enough to think about the recipient that's receiving them. Keep in mind, too, that your love one might be one of those energy vampires, and they may not intentionally try to deplete you that. It may come out of anger or their chronic disease or a situation. Sure, sometimes people say things to hurt your feelings on purpose, but we have to remember that they don't always do that on purpose.
Speaker 1:So now let's shift a bit. I even think about energy vampires as being not human or non human energy vampires, those things that simply drain us, whether they are caused by us personally or add it to our stress and anxiety, and let me give you some examples. So they're, they're non human things. So think about the energy vampire of our phone and it sucks our energy out of us. And you know Facebook or Instagram or social media distractions. I am a sucker for a missing dog or a sick dog and if somebody posts their journey on post, like on Facebook or on Instagram, I will check my phone like a mad woman checking for updates. And similar thing happened to me, because I created this story when, when Daisy, our, our first lab, passed away from liver failure, each and every day, I did a post out there and I had people checking in and sending things. Vice versa, I was being the energy vampire to them out of giving them updates, or maybe you scroll and watch videos when you should be going to bed at night. But our phones can be that energy vampire for us, distracting us and taking up our energy and the time that we need to go ahead and get things done.
Speaker 1:What about another one here? What about waiting on lab results or test results? You have this app that gives you your lab results or your loved ones lab results, and so you're checking this every hour, or you're checking your emails or checking your phone to make sure nobody had called right. Well, my husband right now had his I can't remember what day it was. Last week he had his biopsy for his cancer his new hot spots that probably are cancer and so this week they're processing his biopsy. Yesterday he got an email saying that they got two good samples and they're doing the samples. Well, we go in for the results on Friday, but, knowing the past, they put the results usually out on this app in advance.
Speaker 1:And so guess what I'm doing? Pretty much three times a day, I'm stopping what I'm doing and looking to see if there's anything out there which is an energy vampire In my mind. I'm thinking if I can go ahead and get a grasp on what it is, I'm going to be better equipped to go in with a logical mindset and I want to know, or you know, it just distracts me, and the waiting on lab results. I keep thinking about the what ifs and all the bad thoughts that go into your mind, and so that can be one. We could go on and on.
Speaker 1:I could be here for days thinking of all of the energy vampires that are non-human, that suck the energy out of you. I'll just give you one more. Or reading comments or opinions underneath something that you posted or you're following somebody online. They consume your thoughts and and your mind and your emotion. I mean, all we have to do is talk about political and look at how many people are consumed by the news every day, or that's another one when the the Israel bombing occurred, just checking that People can be consumed by that. So energy vampires are all around us and this topic is so huge. So I want you to think about what are those non-human energy vampires that visit you? And then, what about the energy draining situations that we face as caregivers? And they may not be total vampires, but they are draining situations, such as relentless responsibilities that we have to juggle and do that consumer time or our lack of personal time, and we don't get that, that personal time to recharge, or the emotional exhaustion coming from. Whatever the caregiving challenge is. Well, I'm gonna give you just a non-caregiving situation, but it is kind of a caregiving situation because Dennis seems like he is a little more fatigued from from his cancer and we're assuming that or waiting on the test results is wearing on him.
Speaker 1:And so this past weekend it was time if we finally had a couple of no rain days. And so Saturday the energy vampire, the non-human one, was the leaves laying out in our yard from our 20-year-old maple trees. We have four along the road, we have one alongside of the house and we have one in the backyard and they're all 20 years old, so you can imagine the leaves that have fallen on the ground. Well, I watched him for probably the first half hour trying to blow and rake leaves and he got a little done. But there was no way he was gonna get all of that done by himself, and so I said I'm gonna put everything on hold and I have to go help him. And we worked over four hours on raking and lawn work and getting those leaves to the curb and hauled away, and so that energy vampire sucked everything out of us, knowing that we had to get it done, but we were exhausted from it at the end of the day and I felt like T-Rex the next day the T-Rex dinosaur that could not move my arms and so it took. I had other things to do, but we had to get it done. Well, we talked about triggers from the people energy vampires and we've talked about those non-energy vampires.
Speaker 1:Now think about the triggers for you when it's not a person, but it's actually you that is causing the energy vampire. How do you feel, or what do you do when the energy vampire syndrome strikes you and it's caused from you? I want you to think about it. What are your physical symptoms when you are having this energy vampire syndrome? Do you get exhausted? Do you feel it in your back or your legs, or what are your emotional symptoms? Do you get anxiety? Do you get stressed? Do you get angry? Do you get sad? Do you just put your hands up and give up? What type of stress does it cause you? On Saturday, I was touchy, I was irritated, I kept thinking about all of the other things that I had to do and the stress was just bottling up inside of me. Then on the following day I had anxiety from it because I didn't get things done the day before. I'm just a high achiever and I have these goals that I have to set.
Speaker 1:How does your energy feel when you have energy vampire syndrome? Do you have more energy? Do you have lack of energy, lack of focus? I want you to pay attention to that. Then, once you have all of the triggers and the symptoms and you kind of pay attention to that, then you have to pay attention to that. Then you have to say how do I overcome energy vampires, whether they be human, personally caused or nonhuman? My very first thing you want to do is stop and think for a minute about the energy vampires in your life. I want you to think about that. Who are they? What are they? Are they self-induced or are they present? You even can make a list of those. I would suggest that you make a list of those and really look at who are and what are the energy vampires. Now look at them once you have that list and then make a list of the triggers that are present. You can make a list of those and then make a list of the triggers that are present. You can make a list of the triggers that come from it. Do they have common traits? Do you have patterns that you see? Let me give you an example of a nonhuman energy vampire in a self-induced syndrome energy vampire syndrome that came from it.
Speaker 1:This happened to be this past Friday night. On Friday, I've been waiting and waiting for my new iPhone 15 Pro Max. It was time for me to upgrade. I had an iPhone 12 and I could see that I wasn't. There was things that I couldn't do and I wasn't being able to upload all the updates. I was waiting for the 15 Pro Max. It was on back order, but then it finally came, friday about noon.
Speaker 1:After dinner on Friday night, I said hmm, I can do the simple task of turning on the new iPhone, transferring everything over. It should be an easy fix. If I remember the last one, it took about an hour. I should be able to do it. It's Friday night, I'm not going to do any more work. There's nothing on TV that I really want to watch, and so I'm going to sit in my office and turn some music on and get this done. Easy, right?
Speaker 1:Not, it was definitely an energy vampire, because every single app that I had on my phone needed to be confirmed or refigured. I was, for example, I have apps on my phone like the simple ones, like Instagram and Facebook, but I have Venmo, I have my banking one, I have some apps that I use for my business. I have an app for a grocery store. Every single one needed to be. I needed to log into the app and confirm that I was the person I was. And then so I mean I have probably 20 apps on my phone. And then I couldn't get Facebook to work. It would not work. It kept saying that I was being hacked, I was being violated.
Speaker 1:It not only took up way too much time, I became frustrated. So I started like at 6.30 and here it was quarter to nine. I was still working on this monster. I became so frustrated, emotional. I knew I couldn't throw the new phone, but I wanted to. I even ordered a case that I thought was iPhone 15, but I didn't look. I had to order an iPhone 15 Pro Max, because the new camera on the back has a new hole that the case needed to fit in, and then the charging cable is different, and so the only way to charge it was on my Mac computer because I didn't have the adapter box.
Speaker 1:I was so frustrated, it consumed me not only until nine o'clock, which, finally, I just shut the darn thing off and I went without a phone, because my other one was just about, my old one was just about out of juice. My new one I couldn't figure out how to get, and so I just decided I'm just going to let it sit and I'm going to go to bed. Well, laying in bed I'm like there's got to be a way to figure this out. And it consumed me for like two hours. I went back to my my laptop and I googled how to do things, and I knew the following morning there's a hack or there's a Google thing on Facebook because there's a bug and I have to upload on the new edition of Facebook, Whatever. So it consumed me. I didn't get a good night's sleep. And then, on top of it, I had my alarm set on my old phone, which transferred to my new phone, and it went off at 5 am and I didn't hear it from my bedroom, but my husband did, because I was so tired, and so my husband got woke up at 5 am. So that was my energy vampire.
Speaker 1:But think about another one, or the one. Another one that comes to my mind is it would be a simple trip to the grocery store and I ran into a relative at the grocery store. I needed to pick up groceries and this was maybe a year ago, and the relative said oh, how's your mom doing? How's your husband doing? Never asked me how I was doing, and so I went into explaining that my mom wasn't feeling well, she was having shortness of breath, she didn't want to go back to the doctor, and the relative continued to ask me questions in a drilling way. They went to ask me why they they didn't know about my mom, why she wasn't answering her phone, why wasn't I persisting on my mom going back to the doctor? It was just I felt like I was being drilled. I Felt these negative vibes from her about my caregiving and my mom's decisions.
Speaker 1:I explained that that you know these were my mom's intentions and we were going to have to live with my mom's intentions. But she went on to say I know a person who didn't go to the doctor and they died within a month. And I'm like, oh gosh, and I'm just holding it in holding it, I'm grabbing on to the cart harder and gripping it harder and harder. And then they went on to share all of their issues about how they weren't feeling well and they're going to the doctor and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It was just that that 15 to 20 minutes I was spending there, it felt like eternity. And and I left the grocery store so frustrated, so angry, so Exhausted that when I saw that person again at the grocery store, I avoided that person. I didn't even want to go down the same aisle as that person because I didn't want to talk to that person anymore.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about tips for dealing with energy vampires, because when I left the grocery store, it ruined my mood for the rest of the day. I was crabby, I was exhausted, I was angry. My thoughts just went on and on and on. And you shouldn't have to go ahead and feel like that forever. You shouldn't have to lose sleep because your damn iPhone didn't work. And so what can you do for tips for dealing with energy vampires, whether they be human or non-human?
Speaker 1:Let's look for the positive. That's the first step. You have to look at for the positive in every situation. Let's pretend your mom is super critical of you and it makes you feel insecure. Next time you have plans with mom, maybe you want to try things and do different things Before hanging out with her. You want to prepare yourself in advance. You know focus, because you can only control what you can control. Take a few minutes to focus on good things about her, or Think about focusing on your own self. Make a list of three to five things of her positive traits the more the better. You may not like the way she communicates with you and her feelings, but her intentions may be good, so you might want to go ahead and get yourself prepared there.
Speaker 1:You might say she's a caring person, but views the world differently from you. It's okay, though. You can learn from each other, and and not and let the the the negative things she say will right off your back. She is negative sometimes, but she's great with your kids, or she's great Should? We love spending time together, and so you have to look at the pros and the con. Now that you got the positive traits it, it will help you to see the best in your mom when you are together. This alone can help you see your relationship in a whole different way.
Speaker 1:So thinking, thinking about things that will help you dealing with that person, because we can't just say, well, mom, you're an, an energy vampire, I can't take care of you anymore. That's not going to help. You're going to have to find ways that are going to help you through the the negativity and and keeping yourself positive. Let's say too, maybe there's a non-energy vampire like you have to call the insurance company, and this is like the third time in the last month You've had to call them on the same situation, and you always go round and round, being put on hold, having to talk to a different person, have to challenge and it takes you Most of the time and I'll where to get through this. Well, how can I go ahead and not let this suck the living energy out of me?
Speaker 1:Well, I have learned that I get my earbuds on, because I'm not going to hold that phone up to my ear because it's exhausting, and I try to do something while I'm waiting, to keep myself Positive or accomplish something else. In the summertime I would go out in garden, because when I'm out gardening it doesn't feel like long, or I'll grab a cup of coffee and sit on my patio in the sun, looking at the birds or watching people walk by. I've also organized like a junk drawer, or I've folded laundry or I've done, I've gone for a walk, whatever it would be, so that you feel like it's not taking up all of your time. You're able to be productive at the same time, and so that's what I've done, because, and and obviously, putting yourself in a positive mindset and being nice to the person Helps a whole lot as well too. So so the first one is to go ahead and try to put yourself Into a positive mindset and look for the positive in the situation.
Speaker 1:The second one is visualizing yourself in a bubble or a protective barrier. Some people call this the white light protection. Wherever your barrier, whatever your barrier is, it's your energy field protecting you from energy. This is the silliest thing ever. But if I'm in a bad mood, I have closed my eyes and I'm not in a good mood, but if I'm in a bad mood, I have closed. That I wear that keep my energy level positive. It seems really weird. It's the clothes. I'll wear a bright shirt, or I'll wear a piece of jewelry. That is my Energy protector. But you can visualize this picked, and you could also picture your loved one in a pink colored light or in a pink bubble and saying they're they're not usually like this or the nonhuman task as just a beautiful Bridge that you need to cross. And if I cross the bridge of this insurance, he, double hockey six and and it's this bridge on one side is cloudy, but the bridge on the other side is sunshiney. You're going to feel so much better, I, and so you want to visualize that you're yourself protecting your energy.
Speaker 1:And then the third one is to raise your energy vibration, or raise your energy level, because when we are energetic beings and, as such, vibrate at a certain frequency or energy level, so why important is this? Well, the higher your vibration, the less energy vampires will affect you, and so, more or less, when you're in a positive mood, nobody's going to stop me Right away. I think about. This girl is on fire, or you know, and they're going to go ahead and not let this get to you. And you might even go into it by saying I'm not going to let my dad, dad's mood get to me today. I'm going to protect it and I have this shield around me and you know what? No matter what he says, I'm going to protect it. It's an easier concept than said right. So how can you do that, and we'll talk about that in just a second here.
Speaker 1:But positive emotions are your light or are your barrier, and help and help us vibrate at a higher level, in a higher frequency, which makes us feel joy, versus negative emotions are heavy, are dense, they lower our vibration because they make us feel bad, and so you want to try to get yourself out of those emotions or protect those emotions, and when you are not providing enough self care to yourself, or you're not physically, or if you're too fatigued, the negative emotions will pop up faster. So one of the most powerful ways to deal with energy vampires is to practice raising your energy vibrations every day. Not only is this easy to do, it also makes a huge positive impact in your life, and I think about people that are in the healthcare field, like the doctors and the nurses. They have to deal with sick people all the time, and so it takes a special person to keep their energy vibrations up, because it can easily affect them and bring them down. So here are some of the ways that I've thought of and so you're going to want to investigate how do I raise my vibe, or how do I raise my positivity and my energy?
Speaker 1:One way is meditation and thought, work and deep breathing, so being in that mindfulness practice. Another, a number one thing that I do is a gratitude practice, and I gratitude five things that I'm grateful for every single day, and I even think about at the end of the day what have I accomplished or what am I most proud of? You want to get into that mindset, make a gratitude list or a journal every day. Now for my husband, it's the opposite. He listens to his favorite music, which increases his vibration. That is his jam. He listens to that all the time, versus I only do it when I'm in a bad mood. I turn up and I crank up the tunes and go ahead and do it that way.
Speaker 1:Another one is exercising. There is nothing more powerful than a 30 minute walk or a jog, or putting on a YouTube video and working out to a YouTube video doing yoga, whatever it would be. Walking in nature will increase your vibe. Spending time in nature will increase your vibe. That's why you'll see me a lot of times in the summertime, in the most challenging times, with the most beautiful flower garden, because I have to get out there. Another one is journaling for 10 to 15 minutes, getting things off your chest. So, thinking about that Now, I also feel that you need to go ahead and really look at your self care when it comes to your nutrition, your hydration, your sleep.
Speaker 1:These will all impact your emotions in a positive way or a negative way, and so when I am not at my best, that's when I need to look at my sleep. I need to look at how am I eating? Am I taking care of my health physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, whatever it would be. What about your vibe right now? I want you to think about your vibration, your energy right now, wondering if your energy is high or low. What is it today? It's easy to figure out. Just take note of how you feel right now. Do you feel grateful and happy, or do you feel negativity, sadness, depression, feelings of stuck? And if you're feeling that, then how can you get out of that? Because it is working on your emotional vibration and your energy vibrations. Your emotions are a great indicator of your vibrations, your frequency and your energy. The better you feel emotionally, the higher your vibration is.
Speaker 1:One thing that I do too and I notice this is if I watch or listen to positivity or comedy, I feel better, something really simple. And I have to bring up my podcast. It's Hoda and Jenna. I listen to it on a podcast because I don't have time to sit and watch TV. But today, with Hoda and Jenna, it happens I don't know mid-morning or so they do a show on TV but they also have it on podcast and those two are the most positive people and fun and comedy and energetic. It just brightens my day. And just to be able to listen to them talking about oh I don't know social news and celebrity food mindset, it does me good, and so that's one of the ways that I've discovered that increases my vibration. Also, remember, like people attract, like people. So if you're happy and sending out love, you'll get love back, and so that's another way to think about it and working on yours.
Speaker 1:Of course, that doesn't mean that every second of every day that will be perfect, right? Negative emotions do serve a purpose sadness, depression, that serves a purpose, especially when there's bad news and bad things happening in the world and caregiving and all of that. But when we radiate love, you will notice that people are at their best when they're around you, even if it's bad news if you go ahead like Dennis is bad news that he has definitely some inflammation in his lymph nodes which indicates that there's cancer back. Yeah, it sucked and we're struggling with that and it's not fun. But you know what I'm leaning into? His great oncology team. I'm leading into the fact that we've had great conversation and we love each other and, no matter what happens, we'll get through this. That's the vibration that I'm leading. I'm not all positive that. Oh yeah, he's got cancer, but you know what it's going to cure and you know I'm not all that but I'm realistic. But I'm not going to let it take over my whole day and be that energy sucker throughout the entire day. I'm going to go ahead and continue to work through it.
Speaker 1:Number four of this is setting boundaries. The strategies we've talked about so far work great with most energy vampires, but there may be times when you feel so out of sync with someone or the situation that you know it's time to set firmer limits and maybe even stronger boundaries, or you might have to end a relationship. If this is how you are feeling, it's perfectly okay to tell that friend that is texting you all the time that I'm not going to be able to text for a while and just kind of walk away a little bit, or that person that's in the grocery store. I'm sorry I don't have time today to talk to you, or I would prefer not to even talk about it. I just want to get through the grocery shopping and get back to mom. That's a way.
Speaker 1:Part of living an intuitive life is honoring yourself, your feelings and your purpose. Remember you and your feelings are important, especially right now, where you have to protect your energy, your time and your overall emotions. Okay, the fifth ones is talking about things to avoid, armed with tips. Above all of those things, though, the ones that we talked about the armed with looking at the positive or look for the positive, building that protection barrier and working on your vibration and setting boundaries. Now you'll need to look at things to avoid, and, before we go through the things that you should avoid practicing, you want to think about you'll be. You think about your shiny aura and the healthy vibe.
Speaker 1:So you want to think about the things that you should avoid yourself engaging in negativity, arguing engaging in negativity will lower your vibration and make you feel bad If you find yourself in a tough situation. Surround yourself with this barrier or this light and imagine there is a mirror in front of you deflecting the negativity away from you. Simple things like if you have something that a disagreement saying you know what I don't feel like arguing right now, and this is not a good time for me to go ahead and exude all my energy into this situation and let's change the subject. Yeah, you definitely want them. Another one that you should avoid is taking it personally, and this is really hard for me. It's written on paper right in front of me, but I cannot. This is hard one. You need to take a deep breath and try to let this roll off your back. Or, for me, I give it 30 minutes and saying I need to let it go now.
Speaker 1:Remember to surround yourself with this protective barrier and keep in mind, if the energy vampire is generally negative, they probably aren't attacking you personally. It's probably whatever's happening to them inside of them. There's something else. So I want you to think about things to avoid for yourself. Your situation, whatever it would be, maybe it's something, is something like. I know mom is not a morning person and so I'm not going to go there in the morning because she's crabby all the time, or I know she's crabby, so I'm going to go ahead and go right to work and do her laundry and do things while she sits there and wakes up, whatever it would be. Now, one extra tip I want you to think about is look at those nonhuman energy vampires. Learn from them.
Speaker 1:If you go in with an attitude or any motion into a situation, or fatigued, whatever it would be, it will suck your energy. Ask yourself, what can I do to make things easier or differently? I can't tell you how many times I've had to turn the car radio up really high and turn on dancing with sunshine woohoo in the car, or just psyching myself up to go up to go into visiting my mom or seeing my dad, or going back into chemotherapy after I went for a walk. Yeah, what can you do to go ahead and do that? Ask yourself, what can I do for myself? Or, better yet, if there's a nonhuman energy vampire, is there a way to delegate a task? Do I really need to do it? Or is there a different way? I can change the situation, because energy vampires are a normal part of the human experience. They are a normal part of our caregiving journey and so practicing the tips and anything that you can to strengthen your energy and your aura and raise your vibration is going to help.
Speaker 1:So to end today, before we wrap up the eerie yet enlightening episode, I want to leave you with a message of empowerment here, as you navigate the treacherous terrain of caregiving, remember that you're not alone in this battle against energy vampires. You possess an inner strength that can illuminate even in the darkest corners of your journey. Embrace the power of your self care, set boundaries to protect your energy and remember that it's okay to seek help and support each and in. It's okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Each step you take towards prioritizing your well being is a step towards reclaiming your strength and your resilience.
Speaker 1:Let's banish those energy vampires. You are the true hero of your caregiving story and with your unwavering determination, you can conquer any challenge that comes your way. I want to wish you a spooktacular and empowered Halloween and a caregiving journey ahead Until next time. My friend, take care and remember you can do this. You are not alone, and if you make mistakes, that's part of the journey. Just learn from it and the next time you're going to get better and better and better. So bye for now, and we'll talk to you again next Tuesday, my friend.