The Caregiver Cup Podcast

From Pajamas to Purpose: A Caregiver's Unfiltered Chat

May 21, 2024 Cathy VandenHeuvel Episode 214
From Pajamas to Purpose: A Caregiver's Unfiltered Chat
The Caregiver Cup Podcast
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The Caregiver Cup Podcast
From Pajamas to Purpose: A Caregiver's Unfiltered Chat
May 21, 2024 Episode 214
Cathy VandenHeuvel

Send Cathy a text:)

Well, hello my friend and welcome to the Caregiver Cup podcast! In this special episode, I'm taking a break from our usual structured format to have a cozy coffee chat with you. Picture this: it's Monday morning, and I'm still in my leopard print pajamas, sipping on my favorite black coffee.

Last week was a rollercoaster of emotions and stress for me, from the relief of my husband Denis's positive scan results to the pain of a root canal and outpatient surgery. Add in Mother's Day and my spouse's birthday, and you can imagine the whirlwind.

Inspired by Hoda and Jenna's "I'm so done with..." segment, I want to encourage you to make your own "I'm so done with..." list. Let's get real about the challenges we face as caregivers and vent together. It's time to release those pent-up frustrations and focus on what we can control.

I'll be sharing my own "I'm so done with..." list and highlighting the areas where we can make positive changes. From letting go of guilt and shame to managing our exhaustion and self-imposed pressures, we'll explore practical steps to refuel our minds and bodies.

Join me as we discuss the importance of self-care, celebrate our small wins, and find ways to navigate the caregiving journey with more joy and peace. Whether you're still in your pajamas or out for a walk, let's connect and support each other on this path.

Remember, if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Let's embrace this caregiving journey together and become our best selves.

Support the Show.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send Cathy a text:)

Well, hello my friend and welcome to the Caregiver Cup podcast! In this special episode, I'm taking a break from our usual structured format to have a cozy coffee chat with you. Picture this: it's Monday morning, and I'm still in my leopard print pajamas, sipping on my favorite black coffee.

Last week was a rollercoaster of emotions and stress for me, from the relief of my husband Denis's positive scan results to the pain of a root canal and outpatient surgery. Add in Mother's Day and my spouse's birthday, and you can imagine the whirlwind.

Inspired by Hoda and Jenna's "I'm so done with..." segment, I want to encourage you to make your own "I'm so done with..." list. Let's get real about the challenges we face as caregivers and vent together. It's time to release those pent-up frustrations and focus on what we can control.

I'll be sharing my own "I'm so done with..." list and highlighting the areas where we can make positive changes. From letting go of guilt and shame to managing our exhaustion and self-imposed pressures, we'll explore practical steps to refuel our minds and bodies.

Join me as we discuss the importance of self-care, celebrate our small wins, and find ways to navigate the caregiving journey with more joy and peace. Whether you're still in your pajamas or out for a walk, let's connect and support each other on this path.

Remember, if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Let's embrace this caregiving journey together and become our best selves.

Support the Show.

Thank you for listening. If you know of another caregiver who could benefit from this podcast, please copy and share this episode.

Follow me by clicking on the links below:

Speaker 1:

Well, hello, my caregiver friend, and welcome to another episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast. It's Kathy here In this episode. I didn't feel like doing a structured topic today. I'm going to give you a potpourri of information and I'm going to share some things about what's happening with me personally, to caregiving and to what I'm working on. And I found myself when I was writing the notes I do have a little bit of a caregiving coaching session at the end of it as well.

Speaker 1:

So I went for a walk this morning and a little bit about myself. I went for a walk this morning and the weather said it's going to rain by six o'clock, so I jumped out of bed, said it's going to rain by six o'clock, so I jumped out of bed, put on my workout clothes, grabbed the dogs and we walked. But I didn't feel like staying in regular clothes and so I jumped in the shower and I put back on my pajamas. I felt like putting on my pajamas because it's kind of dark and rainy here today and I bought these new leopard print jammies on Amazon no ad at all, but I love Capri pajamas, especially during the summer, so I can go ahead and um feel a little bit cooler and my shirt on my pajamas is more like a I don't know what they call them like a nurse's scrub top, and so they're really comfortable.

Speaker 1:

So I'm sitting here drinking my black coffee. I love black coffee. I don't really like all of the creamers and I actually went to about a year ago. I went to a different kind of coffee because I did a lot of research on how coffee beans were processed and are growing, because I had digestive issues. So I go and order my coffee off of this company not an ad Fabula or Fabula because they really look at making sure everything's processed right no mold, no bleach, as little processing as possible and so I like that and it seems to help my tummy because I am probably a coffee addict. I love my coffee.

Speaker 1:

Kind of switching gears a little bit. Last week was a really emotional week for me and a little bit of stress as well, but in this piece it was good and a rough week at the same time. We finally got the results of Dennis's scan and I think I shared a little bit about it with you in last week's episode, but it's kind of sinking in a little bit more that the Keytruda or immune therapy that he's on, is really really doing things in keeping his cancer at bay. His cancer is in his blood, and it attacks his lymph nodes, and so we're keeping that at bay, and one of the things that the doctor had said, though, is this Keytruda likes to attack the healthy organs, and his creatine levels were really high, and so he had to drink more water, and I felt like a little neg telling him drink your water, drink your water. But now he's drinking his water. Yes, he's drinking his water and adapting to it, and I'm so proud of him because I think that's only going to help him in the long run. So that was one of the good.

Speaker 1:

The rough one was the fact that I had to finally get the second root canal finished. I had two root canals back to back, within a few days of each other, back to back within a few days of each other. The endodontist said you had lightning strike twice, and they were both very, very painful, and so I went in, and he, the doctor, went in, or the endodontist went in and went ahead and tested the roots and made sure there wasn't. You know, they were able to go ahead and complete it, because I think I must have had a lot of decay and they wanted to go ahead and make sure that was all done. So I got that done and I'm so glad that's over with. I told the endodontist not that I didn't like him, but I hope I never see him again. I am so feisty and sassy sometimes but he chuckled and laughed and I'm like I hope I don't have to, but if I ever do need work, I know who to go to.

Speaker 1:

So another thing that I had, which like was a double whammy last week, was I had some outpatient surgery done and I am not a good patient. I am not. I don't like attention. I don't even like when a caregiver sits in the chair next to me. I just want to be left alone. I feel so much empathy for Dennis if he ever has to take care of me or my kids. Because I was to the point when I got there I said to the nurse and all of the doctors checking me in does Dennis really have to be here? Can we just call him when we're done and when you wheel me out he can just pick me up. There's no need for him to have to stay here. And they looked at me like I was on Mars. They said, yes, you should have somebody here listening because you're not going to know. You know a lot after you have.

Speaker 1:

I had the basic anesthesia where you'd have it when you have colonoscopy done. I had just a little bit of a background is I had a vaginal prolapse last fall and I had to get it taken care of because it was just it was affecting my quality of life, and ever since that now I've had problems with my bladder and so I took some injection gel and they injected that in my urethra to TMI. And so I had that done and it was what a 15-minute procedure. I had to be put under anesthesia and as soon as I woke up, it's like get the heck out of here. And they're like no, you should just sit up, we want you to have something to eat. And I'm like just take the IV out, let me go to the bathroom, and I just want to be in my own bed. And so they dragged their feet a little bit, but I was pretty much home when I had to show up for 8.30 in the morning. Much home when I had to show up for 8.30 in the morning. The procedure started at 10.30, but I knew when I was home, so it was pretty fast and I'd rather recover at home. I'd rather, if I have questions, just give them a call, that kind of thing. So I'm going to be one of those patients that it's like get me out of here.

Speaker 1:

But another good thing that happened for us is we came off of Mother's Day and then a week later was my spouse's birthday, or Dennis's birthday, and so what's nice about it is I got to see all of my kids. They weren't all at the same time, which is perfectly fine. It's funny because my son we saw him yesterday, which would have been Sunday, or for you, it would have been a couple of days ago and he had said Mom, I am so sorry we weren't able to be there on Mother's Day and I'm like, would you stop apologizing? I've lived in this world for so long that I don't want my kids to have this pattern. It's like, no, you were on a road trip, and you were on a road trip with your significant other and enjoying life. I don't want you to go ahead and feel like you need to go ahead and be at a specific thing when I didn't have anything planned on Mother's Day anyway. It's like you can celebrate Mother's Day anytime you want, and I don't want you to carry around this burden, and so that's kind of what I told him and I felt really good about that. But yesterday was my spouse's birthday and so we got to spend some time with him. We took him out for breakfast and the kids visited periodically in and out through Mother's Day and his birthday, and so I got to see all three of them, which was really nice to be able to go ahead and catch up.

Speaker 1:

Okay, kind of shifting gears again is if you follow my email list, I talked about this a little bit on my email newsletter on Friday, but I listen to Hoda and Jenna and I love Hoda and Jenna. I usually listen to them on podcasts because I don't like to just sit and watch TV. I'd rather be doing something, and so when I can put my earbuds in, I can go for a walk and listen to it, or I can go ahead and get ready in the morning, and then if there's something I want to go ahead and see, I usually can see it online or I DVR it as well. So if I wanted to see a style show or something, I could go see that way. But I love their little segments on. They do the hacks and then they test out these hacks and they just giggle and laugh and it's so fun to just have something. That's like non-thinking wise. You can just listen.

Speaker 1:

They also have one on social dilemmas, and if you, I'm aging myself a lot, if you remember the Dear Abby that people would write into Dear Abby in the newspaper and Dear Abby would respond the following week, and social dilemma is almost like that as well. You know. So you know. The latest one that I heard is you know thank you cards. You know, do you send, do you is? Is it okay to send a text, thank you, or a call and say thank you, or do you always need to send a thank you note in the mail? For my mom, if she didn't get a thank you note in the mail, oh my God, these people were on her bad list. It was like, oh my gosh. And so in today's world, people are more apt to go ahead and send a text to say thank you or a video or something like that.

Speaker 1:

And the one that really resonates with me today that I want to talk about is they have a segment now on. I am so done with and I am so done with whatever. One of the things that they came up with is. I think it was Jenna that said I am so done with themed days at school and scrambling the night before trying to figure out okay, it's a red day at school, do they have red? Or a Hawaiian day? Do we have something that they can wear that way? And they were like, yeah, we're busy moms trying to just put it all together and now we're trying to scramble around with that. Or I'm so done with bringing in birthday treats, and sometimes it's just a little vent of that, but it got me thinking about us as caregivers.

Speaker 1:

What are you so done with? Now? There are things we can't be done with, but it feels better to just say them. Like we can't say I'm so done with my loved one's condition, or I'm so done with the challenges, struggles and some tasks. But it does really come true or mean the right thing, because I am so done with cancer. I am so done with it. I know I can't be done with it, but I'm so sick of cancer. It's this uninvited guest that I no longer want it to be arriving in my household or anywhere in my near facility, if cancer was an object, I swear I would probably try to go ahead and scare it away.

Speaker 1:

But I want to encourage you to make a list, an I'm so done with list, and list out everything that you are so done with. Maybe you journal every day. Well, take a day where you say I am so done with even those things that you can't control. Just get it all out. Better yet, tell your friend about this and say, hey, let's just do something that's just fun to talk about on our walk and just say I am so done with. And you and your friend go back and forth and you're going to find yourself saying, yeah, this is ridiculous, or I'm so done with. You know, for example, I'm just being sassy, kathy, right now.

Speaker 1:

I am so done with the people that post 70, some photos on Facebook of everything, of an occasion. It's like it's nice to see one or two pictures of the birthday party, but why do they have to post 70-some pictures? I don't need to see every single present they opened up and so you could walk with a friend and talk about that. It actually feels good to let it out and I don't think this is feeling negative. It's just getting it off your chest and moving on and having a little chuckle about it or, better yet, realizing it. It's not a time for you to feel guilt or shame when it comes to caregiving, for speaking or writing things out, because caregiving is hard. You are human, life is hard. You've sacrificed so much and have taken on things you would never, ever, have ever imagined before.

Speaker 1:

I actually have a text feature in my notes, in my podcast notes. I want you to give me one or two of the things that you are so done with and just share those in the text message, and what I do is I can go ahead and read those texts. I can't respond to them, but I can read those texts and if you send me a text of anything, I'm going to bring it up on my next podcast episode. So, okay, you want to hear mine. You want to hear my? I am so done with list. I'm going to give you a few, because I'm not going to share them all with you because we would go way too long. But let me start with the things that I said. I am so done with that I can't control. Okay, can you relate? I am so done with that I can't control. Okay, can you relate?

Speaker 1:

I am so done with those tiny little exam rooms and you're stuffed in there with your loved one and you're waiting, and you're waiting, and you're waiting the clock you usually can hear ticking, or you're waiting on the results and it feels like it's forever and you're in this like 10 by 10 room and it drives you crazy, or better yet, you're the one waiting for treatment and you see things on that tray and you're freaking out. I am so done with that anxiety while you're waiting there, the impatient feelings that you have. I talked about this one already. I am so done with cancer and seeing the ups and downs of this journey, seeing others in cancer clinics and knowing cancer has taken my parents' lives. I am so done with cancer. I wish and hope every single day that there's a cure for cancer and I know the treatment is coming along farther and farther and farther. But so many people are impacted by this nasty disease and I'm so done with it. Okay, you want to hear another one? That's just really silly. It seems really silly, but it is so much a reality for me.

Speaker 1:

I am so done with finding a parking spot at the grocery store, at the doctor's office at the hospital, wherever it would be. It's like there are days when I can't find a close parking spot. I am so done with finding a parking spot. There are days where I'm like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Or if you do find one, you're worried because you're so tight together. You're worried that your car's going to get dinged or whatever it would be. All I can do is laugh because I can't control if there's parking spots or not. Or I'm so done with.

Speaker 1:

This is one that happened to me last week getting my bill statement on my patient app saying that I now have a bill when you're trying to recover. Seriously, I got it on the way home from the hospital, I got it the next day, I got one this morning and my procedure was Thursday. It's less than a week and I'm getting notices that I have to pay my bill. Okay, I'm so done with friends and family saying things like Kathy, you got this, or Dennis is so lucky to have you. Or others saying, you know, like if I say, oh my gosh, my back is so sore, or I forgot this, they use the words like oh, you're getting older, I am so done with this and people making those statements. Can you see that I feel so much better getting it off my chest. I know you and I can't control some of these.

Speaker 1:

When I was writing the list, I then highlighted because I love highlighters the things that I could control. Like I can't control how busy the parking lot is, but I can control my thoughts and my attitude I can. I can make a joke about me driving around and around and around and looking for a parking stall, round and round and looking for a parking stall. Let me share the ones that I highlighted. I'm so done with those ones that I highlighted.

Speaker 1:

I am so done with carrying around those feelings and thoughts that don't help me. How many times have you been in this worry streak or this shame or guilt or past resentment or memories that spark up bad feelings and anger? I am so done with that, and I highlighted that in my pink highlighter. I'm so done with feeling exhausted, fatigued, tired, like I can't move forward anymore. I have to do something about it. I'm so done with the pressure that I put on myself. I constantly tell myself I'm not good enough. If I get something done, I'm like there's no time to celebrate. I'm just going to move on and take another step forward and keep going, instead of celebrating the things that I've done already. I've always been this way. I always have been a high achiever and nothing is good enough. So these are just a few. Now, I was raised as Catholic. I went to eight years of Catholic grade school, so I feel like I just went to confession and I confessed. I'm so done with these. It felt good to get these off my chest. I hope you feel the same way about it when Hoda and Jenna share that.

Speaker 1:

Like I said, there's laughter at the ridiculous things like theme days or you have to go ahead and you only can invite so many people at a birthday party or the competitions because they're raising little kids. Yeah, we can relate to that as caregivers as well. I'm so done with not being able to go ahead and spend time with my friends or whatever it would be. So for me, does it really matter if pushing myself until midnight to get the laundry, the dishes and the cleaning all done Does that really matter? Or for me, does it really matter if we have company come over and the storm door is fingerprinted and the bottom part has dog nose prints all over it and lick marks all over it? Does it really really matter? Because, truly, if somebody thought that really mattered, they probably shouldn't even be friends with me they shouldn't. So does it really matter? Most of the time when I'm feeling exhausted, it's because I'm pushing myself and I'm not putting myself first and I'm feeling exhausted. And I said I am done with feeling exhausted.

Speaker 1:

Think about you when you are at your best. Think about the last time that you were at your best. Maybe you went on a vacation or had a day off. And now you're coming back, and usually, if you have a vacation time at least for me, when I was in corporate America I'd take a week's vacation. I'd come back and be all refreshed and bubbly, feel really good, and people would say you look really good and within an hour I look like crap because reality set in. But think about when you feel your best. You feel your best physically, mentally, spiritually, socially. What does it look like to you? What do you look like? What do you feel like? How do you react to things? How are you interacting with people? Yeah, yeah, you want to feel that.

Speaker 1:

As I was walking the dogs this morning, my thoughts kept pulling me back in to the A number one reason why I started this podcast Sidebar, remember I went for a walk. Then I came and put my jammies back on yeah, because it was raining out and gray out today. But I, as caregivers, we need to fill our cup first or keep our cup full. It's easier done than said, or it's easier said than done, but it's essential, absolutely essential, to take care of ourself. And I am the first to admit that I'm not good at putting myself first, especially in the caregiving seasons that I've been in. And at what cost? There's been tons of cost, and if you follow me at all on social media or on this podcast, I talk about that and I know that I have lasting effects of not putting myself first, and I know that I have lasting effects of not putting myself first.

Speaker 1:

I want to use the analogy of a road trip, because my middle son, matt, and his significant other, stephanie, went on a road trip and we just had breakfast with them yesterday. So the road trip is fresh in my mind. But think about a road trip that you have been on or somebody you know has been on. Well, when you take the road trip, you're using the vehicle, whether it be a car or RV, suv, whatever we're going to refer to it as the car. The car is your vehicle that's going to take you from one destination to another. First of all, it needs to have gas to keep going. You, as a driver, need to be rested and alert so that you so you're going to have to make sure that you're taking frequent breaks or switching drivers and taking little cat naps.

Speaker 1:

And prior to the road trip like for my son, matt is they went ahead and left from Wisconsin, they went all the way to California, they went down south and then they traveled back up, so they kind of did a kind of like a big circle. And so, prior to the road trip, they had to get their car checked out and had any maintenance being done on it. And then, as they drove their car, they relied on their navigation, and so it's important that they had navigation. Now, old school way, we would have a paper map. Further along, we had MapQuest and we printed off our ways. Now we have the navigation on our phone, which is really nice. But as they're taking their road trip, you have to look at the gas gauge That'll tell you when you're running low on fuel. And then you think about your dashboard. Your dashboard has all these electronic devices that's going to tell you if your tires are running low on air or if you're having any issues with the engine. It's really nice to be able to do that, so that you have that.

Speaker 1:

It's funny, though we treat our car at least in my opinion better sometimes than we take care of ourselves. Right, what can we do to take care of ourselves better? What alerts us when we need maintenance or we need immediate attention, or if we're going to be going on a longer haul? Are we going ahead and doing maintenance with ourselves? That's a good question. I want you to look in the mirror and hopefully you do this each day, whether you're brushing your teeth or washing your face. Hopefully you do this each day, whether you're brushing your teeth or washing your face.

Speaker 1:

But I want you, instead of looking at oh my God, I have another wrinkle, or look at the zit on my chin, or oh, my hair's a mess, I want you to look at your eyes, really look into your eyes in the mirror and ask yourself how are you doing? How am I doing really? Yeah, that's a big question, and last week I'm actually working on a new about page, or updating my about page. It's not completely done yet, so it's behind the scenes, so you don't see it, and I rewrote my mission statement, and here's some words I put on my mission statement, really, about why it's important to fill your cup first, because I'm on a mission to empower you, as a caregiver, to navigate this journey, and I want less stress and fewer struggles for you.

Speaker 1:

Stress and fewer struggles for you, and when you are putting yourself first, you're able to handle challenges better, you're able to handle stress better, you're able to go ahead and be in a right mindset better, and finding ways to put yourself first in a season that you're in, because putting yourself first doesn't look the same in every season. It looks different in every season. This isn't a simple formula or an app that we can put on our phone or we can map out a plan to, so it's not as easy as going on a road trip and following the roadmap. We have to go ahead and adapt. Each of us has to figure out how to navigate the season that we're in and putting ourself first.

Speaker 1:

What I do know, though, based on what I continue to work on as a caregiver and it's a constant process for me there's four components that I have to work on when I caregiver and it's a constant process for me. There's four components that I have to work on when I focus on putting myself first. Four pieces, and if all four pieces don't align, I'm not completely taking care of myself, but I'm continuing to work on them. I'm continuing to work on them. First one is nutrition, and I get on the bandwagon for a while, I'm really good, and then I fall off and I find myself going back to old habits and I continue and have to ask myself why. So fueling your body with the right nutritions is important. The second one is I hate to use fitness, but it's exercise, fitness, movement, and it's depending on the season that you're in. You have to have that going on. The third one is your mindset and continuing to work on your mindset, your thoughts and your beliefs, your mindset, your thoughts and your beliefs. And the fourth one is the social piece and finding community and finding support that you need as a caregiver. So nutrition, fitness, mindset and community are the four components of putting yourself first and, in my opinion, when all of these four align, you can show up as your best self, even if you don't have them all working at the same time, if you're continuing to work on them, you're continuing to be better and getting better and better and better.

Speaker 1:

But what I wrote in my notes is the struggles are huge because it's not like a mechanic that can go and look at the car and know exactly what's wrong and reprogram the electronics, or you get a new tire and you're ready to go With caregiving. We constantly are evolving and changing. It depends on what season you're in and changing it depends on what season you're in. If you're in a really difficult season, maybe your loved one is going through hospice or maybe there's been a car accident, or maybe your season is, maybe you're ill. Another component of the struggles is where's your stress? Where's your burnout? What challenges are you facing? What are all of those? I mean, think about everything that you could be facing. Could it be financial? Could it be, you know, environmental? Could it be relationship wise? Could it be you know the struggles that you're waiting on treatment and you're on a wait list for an organ donation. What is it going to be Lately?

Speaker 1:

For me, another component of struggles is my age and my menopause. So I've been really struggling with the hormonal pieces and the reason I put age down is because I am now post-menopausal and so I am all through my caregiving. I've been pre-menopausal, perimenopausal menopause and now I am post-menopause, and each one of those seasons is a different struggle when it comes to taking care of yourself and dealing with weight issues and other health issues and mindset issues, and so on and so forth. Another struggle is what you currently are doing in your life and juggling. Do you have children and you're taking care of your children? Are you dealing with an aging parent? Are you still working? Are you going through a sale of a home? What is going on with all of the things in your life? So I just wish there was a basic roadmap or a basic plan, like I said, that we could all follow, and if this, then that. Now move to step three, now move to step four. I wish there was, but there isn't. No one size fits all but, but, and. And. The one thing, though, the one thing, though, that you can rely on, is your own desire and determination to show up as a better you in the caregiving season a better, healthier you, providing the best quality of care, but also showing up as your best self. Showing up as your best self.

Speaker 1:

Another thought I had this morning that I was not embracing. I was not. The thought I had is I was not embracing or making note of the small things and celebrating the wins. I was always looking to get to the tip of the mountain, and when I would get to, I don't know. I don't mountain climb. When I would get to a plateau, I wouldn't celebrate that I got that high. I was always continuously looking at why am I not there yet? Why am I not there yet? Versus celebrating and embracing the small little wins and really going ahead and doing that, I was not doing that and I lost sight of that. For the longest of time, I was doing five things. I was grateful for my five wins for the day before and I lost that. I fell off the bandwagon. We all do that. You know why I fell off the bandwagon, I think is because life was good. Well, now the struggle is back, and so that means that I got to go ahead and figure this out again. So, going back to the road analogy, like I said, I'm jumping back and forth today.

Speaker 1:

When you stop to refuel, think about yourself. When you stop to refuel, it's important that you clean the windshield right. You give yourself a clean windshield. If you're in Wisconsin, there's like bugs. You can drive, especially at night, and there's bugs on the windshield, so you have to clean your windshield. When you stop to, you stretch your legs and you get your blood flowing again. You wake up, maybe you go to the restroom in the gas station grab yourself, hopefully, a healthy snack so that you can go ahead and be ready to go. So you do that and when you're on a road trip, that kind of gives you that extra fuel to keep going. I love when you could stop at, like a wayside, like a stop, like a natural place, and then they have maps on there. They might have a little history on a plaque or something, and that's a nice way to recharge as well. Same goes for caregiving. You know, when you stop and refuel you're going to feel better.

Speaker 1:

We need breaks. Yes, and I'm not talking about you know it doesn't have to be a whole day, but we need breaks. We need to clean our windshield and access where we're at, or assess where we're at and really identify it. So just being able to do that. I think last week or the week before we talked about oh yeah, on the 14th of May, we talked about small little breaks, being able to do that. Think about when you take those small little breaks. How are you cleaning your windshield? How are you stretching your legs? How are you refueling your body? What are you doing? Think about those four components you know. Thinking about nutrition. What are you doing? Think about those four components you know. Thinking about nutrition, thinking about I got to go back to my last, lost my train of thought. Thinking about, you know, those four components. Okay, where is it again? Your nutrition, your fitness and movements. Are you stretching your legs? How are you shifting your mindset? Maybe you have to take a few breaths because of a situation, and are you finding community? So that's going to be so important as well.

Speaker 1:

We need breaks as you continue on your way this week. Ask yourself this and I hope you do this activity I am so done with and list it out, put that at the top and do that. But then you know what we don't want to end in a negative. I want you to flip the page over or get to the point where you're walking with your girlfriend and saying, okay, now that we said we're so done with, let's on the way back from our walk and maybe you go. You know you're halfway around.

Speaker 1:

I am so ready for dot dot dot. I am so ready for you know, a nap today. Or I am so ready for you know the test results from my doctor. Or I'm so ready for a nice healthy green salad. I'm so glad I went to the grocery store. Another one is I am so done with feeling exhausted and I am ready to refuel my body.

Speaker 1:

As a matter of fact, this week I am committed. I feel like I'm gaining weight, and I know I am, because I'm not eating as healthy. But I can't say, okay, I'm going to shift my whole way around. You know what I'm doing this week and I'm simplifying my process. I am going to drink half my weight in water this week. That's my goal every single day. Now I know I probably won't get to it the first couple of days because I need to work into it, but I'm allowing myself a whole week to get myself used to getting hydrated again.

Speaker 1:

I fell off the bandwagon, so I'm ready to relook at my current situation and see opportunities where I can improve. And so for me, from a nutrition perspective, I am going to go ahead and work on my water nutrition perspective. I am going to go ahead and work on my water and, hint hint, next week I'll pick something else. Maybe I am going to increase my macronutrients and have more protein and being able to really look at that and I'm going to kind of assess it each and every week. And maybe for you, you're going to look for opportunities where you're not going to burn out. I'm so ready to go ahead and re-look at my current situation and see opportunities where I don't burn out. These are the things that I work with with my clients and through my coaching, and so if you're looking for this and you realize when you look at your I'm so done with list and you realize that, oh gosh, yeah, there's a lot that I can see here, I can help. I have a free 30-minute chat or discovery call with you where we can go ahead and look at where you're at. We can look at a target area, we can talk about the resources that I have or opportunities where you can continue to work on things. Go ahead and schedule a chat with me. You can go to kathylvancom, forward slash coaching and you'll see that there's a free 30-minute chat that you can schedule with me. I'm here to help you.

Speaker 1:

So let me close with a few lasting points here. So I'm here sitting in my PJs a bit longer and having a cup of coffee today. I hope you are doing the same. Whatever your pajama thing is, whatever your coffee thing is, I hope you take a little bit of time and do what you love to do. Here's to schedule time to eat a healthy lunch, maybe. Here's to finding a parking spot and, most importantly, not getting frustrated or with Kathy swearing about it. Here's to smiling at yourself in the mirror and celebrating your little wins from the day when you're brushing your teeth. Tonight, before you go to bed, look at yourself in the mirror and saying I'm celebrating or I'm proud of whatever it would be.

Speaker 1:

Lastly, I wanted to share a quote Actually two lastlies here. I can't close without two more closing thoughts. If you follow me on Instagram, I posted this short but sweet quote today from Jack Kornfield. He says if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Yeah, self-compassion is key. Okay, yeah, self-compassion is key. Okay, this is one of the things I wrote on my mission statement as well, and I'm still wordsmithing it here.

Speaker 1:

But what I want you to do if and when, when you look back at your life, and especially your caregiving journey. I want you to look at this caregiving journey with pride, knowing that you cared for your loved one with compassion, prioritized your own well-being and created a personalized approach to finding your joy and peace in the midst of challenges. That's what I'm talking about today. If I can help you avoid some of the headaches or the heartbreaks or the stress that I've experienced, then I know caregiving can be a little bit better, and that's what I do in my podcasts. Together, we can transform caregiving into a path of strength, a path of joy, a path of empowerment, and that's what I want for you.

Speaker 1:

So, my friend, what are you? I'm trying to think of the statement again. Oh, my gosh, I'm losing my mind. I got to drink some more coffee. What I want to ask you is what are you so done with? What are you so done with, and what are you so ready for? Have a good rest of the week, my friend, and we will talk to you soon, or we will talk to you next week. Bye for now.

Caregiving Updates and Personal Stories
Expressing Frustrations and Finding Relief
Self-Care for Caregivers
Navigating Struggles in Caregiving
Caregiving Transformation and Empowerment