Cultivating Caregiver Resilience: Building Your Mindset Muscle

In this episode, I dive deep into essential mindset strategies tailored specifically for caregivers, drawing from recent insights gained in a transformative mindset training. I explore two powerful techniques—DSD (Do Something Different) and CCC (Catch, Cancel, Correct)—that can help caregivers navigate the emotional and mental challenges of their demanding roles. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in a rut, or in need of a fresh perspective, these strategies offer practical ways to inject more joy and resilience into your daily caregiving journey.

Through relatable stories and real-life examples, I share how DSD encourages caregivers to break free from monotonous routines by introducing small, meaningful changes, such as trying new activities, altering daily schedules, or reorganizing the home environment. Meanwhile, CCC provides a framework for managing negative thoughts by identifying them, acknowledging their impact, and replacing them with positive alternatives. Building these mindset muscles takes time and consistent practice, but the rewards are invaluable—enhanced well-being, reduced stress, and a more positive outlook on caregiving.

Join me as we share actionable tips and inspiring client scenarios that demonstrate how these mindset practices can transform your caregiving experience. By integrating DSD and CCC into your routine, you can empower yourself to handle challenges with greater ease and find moments of joy amidst the demands of caregiving. Tune in to discover how small shifts in your mindset can lead to significant improvements in your daily life and overall resilience.

Chapters

• 0:00 Caregiver Cup Podcast
• 17:29 Implementing Self-Care Activities in Caregiving
• 27:05 Shifting Negative Thoughts for Caregivers
• 36:27 Mindset and Emotions in Caregiving
• 48:24 Inspiring Support for Caregivers

Transcript

Cathy: 1:46

Well, hello my friend, and welcome to another episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast. It's Cathy here. Oh, I have a really good podcast episode today. We're going to talk about two tricks from a mindset perspective that I heard in a training session a few weeks ago and that I'm going to bring up. But before we do that today, I want to go ahead and share a couple of the messages. I call them fan mail because that's the platform it's on, but there's a few that are worth repeating. And thank you for the person. She's from Iowa and it says Hello.

Cathy: 2:23

I recently found your podcast, which I'm thrilled you did. I hope to find time to listen. I'm 12 plus years into caregiving and I don't have words to name the levels of burnout. And she had two questions like take care of me and how I had given up a lot of my former life, and what little was left the pandemic took away. In your podcast, do you address the abuse of power by long-term care facility administrators who are evil bullies, or the waste of time it is to file complaints with the state's Department of Inspections and Appeals? Keep up the good work with your podcast, thank you. Well, first of all, I want to acknowledge that 12 plus years is a huge amount of time in your caregiving and I can't even imagine the levels of burnout. When you said levels of burnout, something went into my head and you'll probably hear something in a future podcast episode about focusing in on burnout and the levels, because I talk about the stages of burnout, the stages of overwhelm, and one of them is burnout. But there's got to be something about the different levels or the types of burnout I also think about. I hope you can find just small moments in your day to give yourself relief. It sounds like you are going 24-7. I continue to share ways to do this, like walking to the mailbox or sitting on the patio for five minutes or calling a friend, or taking a long ride home from the grocery store shopping so that you can go ahead and listen to some music, or you can go ahead and just let the fresh air in your face. Find those little pockets of time for yourself to kind of get yourself to recharge.

Cathy: 4:13

Hey, Caregiver Cup listeners, if you have any ideas on or questions on long-term care facilities, please click that message button and hit that reply so that you can share your ideas and we can go ahead and share your thoughts next week Because, as to your question on long-term facilities and the issues, I don't have that experience personally, but I have clients that have worked through that. But again, if anyone does have any advice or suggestions on her specific questions, share those in your thoughts. My only advice that I have, with limited experience of long-term care facilities is have you reached out to your local organizations or your county or your city or social workers regarding it? I'm assuming you probably have, but if you haven't, go ahead and Google and look at different support organizations and seeing if they have any ways to go ahead and do it. My other advice from a coach perspective is keep going, girl. Keep asking, keep filing, keep reaching out. You're your loved one's advocate and voice, so you have to go ahead and continuing to do that. And we can talk about conversations or ways to ask, but keep doing it, trying to reword things, try to get specific with examples, examples. We're cheering you on here, so continue to do that. Maybe even ask your loved one's doctor for help to see if they have any idea. So thank you for your message, just like this one and the messages that you leave. For me as a listener, they mean so much.

Cathy: 6:05

Here are just a couple more that weren't questions that I just wanted to share. What a wonderful podcast with Barbara. It was so good, wasn't it? Last week I have watched Shark Tank, or she said I haven't watched Shark Tank for a long time, but I never knew her story. I was so moved and will keep the podcast in my library yeah, because we never know when Alzheimer's or dementia is going to be something, and the good advice that she gave was so powerful. This person says thank you, it was really great. I can't see your names. All I can see is the location of where your cell phone was in your last four digits from a privacy perspective, so if you ever want me to mention your name, you're going to have to put that in the text saying hi, this is so-and-so from blah blah, blah. Another one says thank you so much for the podcast on gratitude. All your suggestions were spot on. Well, thank you. That helps me. And you know what? If you have other suggestions or other things that you want me to talk about, that's the place where you can go ahead and submit those as well. I continue to monitor those and look at those each and every day.

Cathy: 7:19

Okay, let's jump into the episode today and, like I said, a few weeks ago I attended some business training and one of the extra bonuses that were part of it it was an hour long. The training was an hour long training every single day for a week and we had follow up work afterwards. It was all about marketing and creating products to help our clients, and so I attended this training, and so it was a pretty grueling week when you committed that time. When most people take courses like me and the trainings, we're excited at the very beginning of the week. But as the week goes on it gets harder and harder to stay engaged and it's tempting and it was tempting for me because if you couldn't attend in person, you could watch the recording or the replay afterwards, and especially if you have other priorities, like I did, and push off the training and watch the recording later. But when I did that, I would give up the engagement because there was a chat so you could chat your questions. You could chat your questions, you could chat with other people, you could build a network and you could submit questions and if you were one selected, you could go on to the screen and talk. It was virtual, but it was still a live event.

Cathy: 8:44

But what I liked about this is the facilitator that did this week-long training also knew that we were tempted and we had a lot going on. And also when you're sticking your head out there or your nose out there or your arm out there to do something and create something new, you have that fear in back of your mind and that discomfort. And so she did some mindset training each morning before the training. About 30 minutes before she would say grab your cup of coffee and let's do some mindset training before we actually get into the course, and that was optional. I actually found that more helpful for me than the actual training. I love the mindset training.

Cathy: 9:34

The mindset training was directed towards entrepreneurs, but I found that everyone, including you and I as caregivers, could take the mindset training pieces and adapt those to our life. So today I want to share a couple of the mindset points that I got out of that training. I promise these will stick with you afterwards and you're going to recognize these, especially when you're in a funk, you're feeling stuck or maybe you need a kick in the pants. This mindset training is going to come back and there are acronyms that are really easy to remember. So here's the first tip I'm going to share. She used the acronym DSD. The acronym stands for do something different. Dsd, do something different. I want you to think about the days where you wake up in a funk, you don't want to get out of bed, or the days where you are so overwhelmed that you can't figure out which way to go, those situations where you've hit a wall or you need a new outlook on life. Think about those days. I think as caregivers especially the person that sent in that message from Iowa, 12 plus years you have to feel it every so often, that overwhelmed feeling.

Cathy: 10:59

Well, I did this just today. I felt like I didn't want to go for my morning walk. I think it was 39 degrees and when I looked at it it felt like it was 34 degrees. It was kind of windy, frost was on the rooftops and on the grass and I'm like, oh, it's so cold, I don't want to walk. But I knew I needed to go for a walk. So I thought to myself DSD, kathy, what could I do? I still wanted to walk because my fur babies, my two dogs, need their walks Because if they don't, they're just like a bunch of toddlers throughout the day and they're just, they don't behave. They got to get their energy wore off.

Cathy: 11:42

And so what I did instead is I did something different. I walked my route backwards, not backwards, body backwards, but instead of going the same route, I walked it the opposite way. And it was amazing because there were things that I never noticed before walking the way I walk, because you see the same thing every day day, like the pond behind the houses. When I walked it the other way, I never saw the pond, because there was trees and bushes and houses in the way. Well, when I walked this way, I could see the pond behind the houses, I could see the geese in the pond, which was really cool. And then the kids were waiting for the bus, versus, if I walked the other way, they were already picked up. So I saw, you know, middle school and high school kids waiting for the bus and it just made me chuckle because, you know, they looked grumpy on a Monday morning, except for one. Little girl smiled at me because she saw the dogs and I said to her good morning, you know that for her, and she was fine. So I did something different and guess what? I finished my walk, versus. I could have stayed in that mindset and just grumpy walked. I just switched it up just a little bit. It could also.

Cathy: 13:06

Maybe you wake up grumpy and you're feeling different. Maybe you pick a different set of clothes to wear today. Don't you always just pick the same thing, do you have? You know, that routine thing that you, if you're especially if you're caregiving at home and you're not going anywhere that day maybe you pick the same. For me, I pick the same t-shirt and leggings and maybe I'll switch up my earrings once in a while. But if you're feeling in a funk, maybe you dress up a little bit more. Maybe you wear your favorite sweater, maybe you wear a different pair of jewelry that you never normally wear. You go ahead and put on some makeup and maybe you fix your hair. You know when you do that you feel better. Now you might get your husband or your loved one saying what's going on? You look really good today and you're just saying I just thought I'd just switch it up today. I'll never forget one of the last words my dad said to my mom. My mom was wearing this yellow. It looked like a. It was a nice top. It looked like a pair of thermal underwear material but it had like cats on it yellow cats on it and my dad noticed the yellow and my mom always looked beautiful in yellow and he said you look so pretty today. I'll never forget it. He was so sick but he recognized my mom in a cheery color in his last few days of hospice before he was not able to notice us anymore. So, again, being able to go ahead and grab something that changes it up a little bit.

Cathy: 14:54

Another thought that comes to my mind is when Dennis was going through his stem cell transplant and we were away for six weeks staying at the lodging place that we were staying at. That was a size of a hotel room, a typical hotel room. We started going stir crazy or at least I did. After a few weeks in one room together. All the time was wearing on both of us. I was going for daily walks, but after a while I was getting bored because that was the only you know 30 to 60 minutes of time that I got away because I was caring for him, so I couldn't get away from much more than that. I was even getting bored with the walks and I couldn't go out to places very often because I had to be careful to bring back infections, and so he was isolated. So I had to think about doing things differently.

Cathy: 15:52

And at that time I didn't know the DSD. I knew switching it up. I knew I had to switch it up. I sat one night and just brainstormed on a piece of paper while we were watching I don't know what show we were watching on TV, because I was watching whatever he wanted to watch and I'm thinking what can I do each day? One thing different each day. That's going to bring me a little bit of pep and joy.

Cathy: 16:18

And so they had a library there, and so one day I took my laptop, because I was working my corporate job inside of the room during the day when I could, and so I took my laptop and moved it to the library, and it was only down the hall and so I could take breaks and check on him. He had his tech so I could go ahead, and I worked in the library, and the library was a corner of the building and so it had a lot of windows, and so the bright light just gave me a different look at things I also used. They had separate. We had a bathroom and a shower in our room, but they also had these big, luxurious bathrooms with big bathtubs in them so that you could go ahead and do that music and you know. And I had some Epsom salt and I put it in the bathtub and I just sat in there for like 30 minutes and just enjoyed the time away and just got away from it all.

Cathy: 17:29

I also scheduled my grocery shopping, but I had to do it early in the morning because I had to do it when the place wasn't busy because of the infections and stuff, and so I followed the protocol that way. But it was nice to be able to say, okay, these two days a week were my grocery shopping days, and so I could get out, do the grocery shopping take the long way home, the long way back to the room, and so that would be days. And then, as he got better, I took a day and I took an hour long shopping trip to Kohl's. I was masked up, I was, you know, all that kind of stuff. It's almost like following the 2020 protocol with the COVID. I masked up and all of that, and I just enjoyed quiet time walking around Kohl's, looking at things, doing things that way, and so that was one Another one we did together. We did two things differently together is we took a ride along the shoreline of Lake Michigan and we went ahead and did like a driving around trip, and so we did that. And then we would have movie nights where we would watch, I think, at that time, what was the movie? Oh my gosh, I can't remember. It was a date movie where they oh gosh, I can't remember, but anyway a date movie where they oh gosh, I can't remember, but anyway, we looked forward to our movie nights and we watched the movie nights and made those kind of special as well. So, again, doing things differently, switching it up, trying to not make it feel like every day, that sort of thing.

Cathy: 19:17

Now I want to share some examples of clients that I've worked with. I've worked with them in coaching sessions, where we had the one hour coaching session, or I've worked with people three months over time. Some of these people I've worked with just having a chat with and threw out some ideas. This one is from Maria, and she's a caregiver for her elderly mother and her days were filled with a routine task, leaving her little time to herself. It was just routine, routine, routine, routine. She would say that you know you get up in the morning. I got to do this, I got to do that. I got to you know bathe her. I got to go ahead and give her her meds. I got to take her to her chair. So it was.

Cathy: 20:03

She had to be with her her mother, pretty much all the time, and I talked about having her switching things up or now, with the new term DSD, do something different by incorporating a new self-care activity into her daily routine Instead of her usual evening walks after her mom was just she would put her mom into bed and then she would go for her walk. At that time I suggested that she try something different and that she would maybe look at like an app for a guided meditation and changing it up, because she was getting bored with everything, and what she found is that this app that she did with her guided meditation helped her get a better night's sleep. It helped her recharge and relax and improve her overall well-being, and so what she decided to do was kind of doing every other day she would do meditation, one day, she would go for a walk one day. Eventually, she incorporated into having, once a week, a chat with her friend, and so just being able to find different things in her pockets of time for her self-care was a great thing. Pockets of time for her self-care was a great thing.

Cathy: 21:24

Another one this client was Jo and she cares for her spouse with a chronic illness and her days had become monotonous and she was bored and frustrated as well. What she did to do something different was altering the daily schedule she introduced, which was really cool. She introduced theme days because I shared my Sunday fun day with her and how I couldn't give all of my time to my mom every single day because my mom was feeling okay and she was independent, and so I found I themed my Sunday fun days as a fun day, which got her thinking about she's going to theme her days with her spouse and she did a lot of these Like, the first one was Music Monday and she did those when they were going ahead and she was helping him with things or dinner or baths and so on, and she had Music Mondays where they listened to new generations of music. She also had Tech Tuesdays where they explored new apps and gadgets. She looked for different things that would make her life easier and these changes brought variety and joy into their routine, making her caregiving less tedious, and so I thought, oh, how different was that. And for me, sunday fun days were a great thing for my mom because she would plan out her agenda for the Sundays and she would count down the days to the next Sunday and so on.

Cathy: 23:03

I have another client her name was Dani who loved to paint and she enjoyed painting, but she didn't have any time to go ahead and do that when she was caregiving and I told Dani she had to bring it back. She had to find it those initial weeks and months of caregiving. Obviously she had to learn and establish some sort of routine, but she had to incorporate this healthy boundary of painting because she enjoyed it so much. So she set aside 30 minutes most evenings to paint and this gave her a creative outlet which provided her with personal fulfillment and it helped her relieve stress, enhancing her ability to care for her loved one. She was able to go ahead then and she had so many paintings. She was able to go ahead and donate some paintings to her loved ones, to her loved one's doctor's offices that had the cancer awareness pieces, and being able to auction some of those off. She sold some of those paintings, she hung some of those paintings up. She was really good at painting and her loved one would go ahead and look at what she did each and every night and she would go ahead and share that with them as well.

Cathy: 24:23

Okay, another client of mine was named Alexis, or Alex, and she would feel socially isolated and due to the demands of caregiving and she would look at go online and she would miss her friends. You see what they were doing, would look at go online and she would miss her friends. You see what they were doing. And she had to figure out a way to go ahead and get that connection back. And so she organized virtual coffee dates with her friends and she then eventually got involved with them and saying, okay, once a month, let's go ahead and connect. Her friends would come over to her house once in a while and have the coffee date on the patio at a certain time while she was caring for her loved one, and they were settled. They eventually got together once a month externally, outside, where Alex got someone to help, and then eventually it kind of rolled into. She saw that she could get away if she worked hard enough and found help and asked for support and she started going and joining local hobby groups and she found that she found support and friendship and found a sense of normalcy in her caregiving.

Cathy: 25:43

Another one was Sarah. She felt overwhelmed by the clutter and disorganization in her house when she brought in her parent into her home. Obviously that disrupts the house and the clutter and the disorganization added to the stress. She explained that her countertop now looked like a pharmacy counter, because that part of her counter was all of her parents' medications sitting there and she needed those. But she said I got to figure out something, because seeing the clutter caused the stress and I'm like what can you do? Could you move things around? Well, she started with moving things around and making room in a certain cupboard, with the medications in the cupboard versus on the countertops, which leaves some of the stress. And she started with the kitchen and then she moved into the living room. Then she made small changes and created a more pleasant and manageable environment. I remember her creating a space in her room where that was her meditation corner, and so she slowly just started working on that, because that brought her much stress and we worked on that.

Cathy: 27:05

Now this doesn't have to be a big project or a big step, either when you feel stuck, when you feel frustrated, when you feel exhausted or just can't do this again. I want you to ask yourself what about DSD? Do something different? Or how can I shift things or make things easier? And by taking small little steps like Sarah, taking the clutter off of the countertop and moving it into a cabinet, got rid of the clutter. For my mom it was ordering her prescription in this little booklet similar to it looked like a contraceptive thing where she had Monday morning and she punched the pills out that she needed. The pharmacy actually created this booklet packet thing so we wouldn't have to fill up the Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday containers. So we did that because it was easier to do that differently and not worry about who's going to fill the medications and if mom took it or mom didn't take it, and so we created that. That was something we did.

Cathy: 28:21

Maybe it's you're tired of making dinner every night. Well, dsd, do something different. Maybe you find a meal service. We have a great company that makes crockpot meals and you can order your crockpot meals ahead of time. Or they make the meal and it's already done and all you have to do is put it in the oven or you use the deli one night a week for a break.

Cathy: 28:47

You figure out what can you do and do something different and start small. Okay, you know, what I want from you is I want to hear from you about what. Are you thinking about doing something differently, or thinking about differently doing? What are you changing up so you can find more joy or feel a bit more engaged? What can you do differently? It doesn't have to be a big thing, however, you can. It's just finding something that you could do differently. Remember, cultivating a new shift isn't about ignoring your challenge or your emotions. It's about empowering you to navigate with more joy and more resilience. Okay, I'm just going to take a drink here quick.

Cathy: 29:39

Okay, the next mindset training that I had on the following day was another acronym I want to share with you CCC, or three C's that stand for catch, cancel and correct. Catch, cancel, correct. Catch, cancel, correct. This is all about those negative thoughts, those negative actions that come for a visit Right away. I thought about because I talked about, I had lunch with my or breakfast with my two siblings, my brother John and my sister Connie, yesterday, and we were talking about this and I was telling about the three C's and my sister Connie, yesterday, and we were talking about this and I was telling about the three C's and my sister worked in an assistant living home for a while and then she worked in an Alzheimer's facility for a little while as well and she said you can't imagine how many times that I had to catch myself and cancel my thoughts.

Cathy: 30:42

If somebody said something to you that puts you on the defensive, you have to cancel it. And you have to catch yourself and you have to cancel it Because I mean, how many times are you on the brink of just wanting to just say shut up, or I can't do this anymore, you know, or why don't you do it better than you know that kind of thing? Instead, you catch yourself, you cancel it and you correct your thought. The example the facilitator gave because we were all entrepreneurs is you say to yourself the technology is not going to work, or the technology doesn't work, or I say a lot of the time I'm not good at all, the techie stuff, right. What you want to do is catch that thought, because that thought isn't going to serve you, because you're just welcoming that negativity, and then you cancel it, saying by me saying you know this technology isn't going to work. It's almost like I'm looking for it to not work. Instead, you want to say I'll figure it out if something goes wrong, or I'll figure it out, I always do. Or let's say you're on live with somebody or you're working a presentation. You always have a backup plan to the technology if you're a facilitator, and so instead of getting all worried about it, you want to go ahead and cancel it. So let's talk about the three C's Correct, cancel and can't. And I have to think about it Catch, cancel and correct. What are your negative thoughts that you can see? See, see, catch, cancel or correct.

Cathy: 32:32

I had this thought last week when Dennis's lab work came back again. He goes in every three weeks, gets his immune therapy, but before that they go ahead and do the lab work and then they do the physical check, the checkup. His lab work is just kind of wacky right now and my thoughts were going to what if? Worry? Or here we go again. I was thinking all of those bad thoughts. I had to catch my mind and I had to cancel it. I said to myself I don't want to use my energy to worry. I've done this too many times where I worry about the worst case scenario and it may be just a hiccup. It may be just he might have caught a virus, or maybe the doctors will tell us. If it's, we can ask the right questions. But the doctors will will be alarmed, when you know, and I didn't want to worry and so in just, I wanted to accept the facts. That's what I wanted to say. So I corrected it and focused on the team of doctors, expertise and the plan going forward and just focused in on that. He's feeling fine. Yeah, there's some. There's some abnormal lab results. We asked the questions, they put the alert in his workup, he went ahead and had his immune therapy and he's going to go ahead and get another scan in a couple weeks and the lab work again. So let's just embrace the fact that he's feeling good and we're going to make it for another few more weeks.

Cathy: 34:24

Okay, here's a few more examples of some other caregiver clients that I've worked with, and some of them, I think Maria I'm using again here, but the first one is Sarah and she's the caregiving for her father who has Parkinson's disease. She often feels overwhelmed by the numerous tasks she has to manage daily with her dad who is wheelchair bound, and all that kind of stuff, and she notices herself thinking I can't handle all these responsibilities. She recognizes that she's failing in certain areas as a caregiver because she can't do it all, especially like if her dad's in pain or she can't go ahead and finish everything that she needs to do. So I said to her let's just acknowledge it. So, in my facilitator's word, we catch it. You catch your negative thought. Then you have to cancel it. She takes a deep breath and she acknowledges this thought is making me feel even more stressed, isn't that true? Sometimes we get into these spirals where we just feed the negativity in our brain, which is trying to help us stay safe, and we just keep feeding that and it's saying okay, let's feed it, let's feed it, we want to make you feel better. Instead, it makes you feel stressed. Instead, sarah corrects it by saying I'm doing my best and it's okay to seek help when I need it. Yeah, it is, yeah, it is. If she's having a hard time getting her father to the bathroom now because of his capabilities, well, at that point, now she should recognize that and saying okay, what devices can we use? Who can help us? Is there training that I need to take? Is there somebody that I need to go ahead and ask for help and those sort of things?

Cathy: 36:27

Another client of mine was feeling guilty over her self-care. Her name is Jess Jessica. She cares for her spouse with Alzheimer's and feels guilty when she takes time for herself. Jess catches herself thinking I shouldn't take time for myself. My spouse needs me. What if this happens? What if that happens? Well, immediately she pauses, which I love, because she's canceling it. This guilt is unnecessary and harmful to me. She recognizes she needs the time away and so she has to go ahead and cancel that thought, that negative part of her brain. I even think of it like somebody's on your shoulder. That negative talk is on your shoulder. You want to just whisk it off your shoulder, that little icon or whatever you have. Instead, jess corrects it and reframes it to taking care of myself allows me to be a better caregiver. I need this time to refuel and for the longest of time she would come to me and wanting me to give her permission and I said no, the only permission you need is from yourself. You need to go ahead and celebrate it. I'm on a mission in this podcast for caregivers to go ahead and celebrate that they took time for themselves this week, they took time for themselves today, and that's what we want to do. Another one is Maria. Maria's back again. Oh no, this is a different Maria. I have so many different clients here.

Cathy: 38:02

Maria, she's frustrated with her child's behavior. Her child has autism and he's a teenager. She often feels frustrated and somewhat embarrassed with her child's challenging behaviors. If she goes anywhere, she notices herself saying my child's behavior is so difficult, I can't handle this. And she catches herself. And again, going back to what Barbara Corcoran said, you have to dismiss it. They're not doing it on purpose. You have to meet your loved one where they're at. And so when Maria caught herself, then she was able to cancel it and saying this frustration is making the situation worse. It is. If you're frustrated, they're going to be frustrated. Instead, maria replaces it with I understand my child's behavior, helps me respond more calmly and effectively, and when she understands it, when she stays educated, when she looks at the situation, then you do that.

Cathy: 39:06

It reminds me of when I was training Eddie and I have a dog trainer for Lucy and Eddie, and Eddie is still my difficult dog walker. He is a mixture of an Aussie or an Australian Shepherd. He's got a little bit of terrier and his DNA showed he has Belgian Malinois, which is like a military dog, and he is stronger than strong, and so we've tried different collars. Now he's got a lead it's called a lead which is a leash around his nose. It doesn't hurt him at all, but it pulls his nose if he's going too fast and it makes him look at me. Well, he's figured it out. He's figured out how to move his nose, the right way to keep pulling. And I'm like you little little sassy thing, and my trainer would say he can sense when you're frustrated. He can sense the energy through that leech. And she would always say don't let him win. You need to stay positive, you need to stay stern. If he's pulling, you stop and you wait, and then when he looks at you, you say good boy, and we move on. So I have to catch myself getting frustrated, I have to cancel it and then I have to correct myself as well as praise him. It's the same concept, but we have to do that with ourself. Okay, I think I have a couple more examples here.

Cathy: 40:41

Another example is Tanya and she's caregiving for her aging mother as well and worries about what's going to happen as her mother's condition worsens. I know we all feel this way. What's going to happen to me? What's going to happen to them? Are they going to be in pain them? Are they going to be in pain? Tanya catches herself thinking what if something terrible happens, I won't be able to cope. Well, what does that do to her negative thoughts? She starts feeling sad, depressed, worried. So she has to go ahead and cancel that and saying this worry is preventing me from enjoying the present, and then recognizing that her fear is going to stop her from really embracing the memories that she still has left. And so instead, now I've got her to think about, I can take things one day at a time and if my thoughts continue and my sadness continues or my depression continues, I need to seek support when needed. And it's okay to seek support when needed. Okay, let me see I'm looking at my notes. Let me share one more example that I continuously go through. Okay, this is the one that I do, and that's balancing my emotions.

Cathy: 42:03

I experience mix of emotions all the time, like sadness, anger, worry, guilt. I do those all the time. I notice myself thinking I shouldn't feel this way. I need to be strong for Dennis. What's wrong with me? My spouse is sick. Well, when you catch those, I want you to catch those and embrace those, because you're human and you're going to feel this way, but you also have to be okay to cancel those. It's okay to feel sad and angry, but then let it go. Let it go.

Cathy: 42:37

You might even ask yourself why am I feeling sad and angry today? Maybe you didn't get a good night's sleep. Maybe you're thinking about an emotion, or maybe your loved one is achy or feeling differently today. Then you want to correct it right and replace it with my emotions. Help me process these things, but I also can seek help if they become too overwhelming. I want you to remember that it's normal to have emotions and you can be sad. You can be sad one day, but if it becomes day after day after day, you need to look for help. You can be frustrated and you have friends. You have coaching, you have therapy when needed. So you can be frustrated and you have friends, you have coaching, you have therapy when needed. So you want to go ahead and say hey, I just need to talk to you. I have been feeling really frustrated for a couple days now and it's impacting my overall joy and my well-being. Talk to somebody about it, okay. So let's wrap up CCC once.

Cathy: 43:43

Remember practicing the three C's of catch, cancel and correct regularly can help you build resilience and maintain a positive mindset, even during the toughest caregiving seasons. It's a muscle that you have to constantly do. It's almost like if I was addicted to caffeine or I was addicted to nicotine. I have to go ahead and catch myself. Then I have to figure out a way to cancel that urge and then correct it and doing something differently for that. This brings up the end of the episode today, with my mindset, those two pieces do something different DSD and CCC, catch, cancel and correct these are two tools that will help you navigate your emotional and your mental challenges that come with caregiving.

Cathy: 44:41

Ultimately, that lead you to more. If you do these, they can help you find more joy and resilience in your caregiving journey. It's like building a mindset muscle, but it takes time, just like any skill. The more you practice DSD and CCC if you haven't listened to everything else and only listened to this piece, you would think I'm crazy the stronger and more effective you will become at it. It's important to be patient with yourself as you integrate these practices into your daily routine. You know, maybe you're dealing with somebody that is outspoken and a family member that's outspoken all the time.

Cathy: 45:22

Well, here's a perfect time to practice CCC and being able to think through how you can catch it, how you can cancel it and how you can correct it. Remember, it's not about drastic changes overnight, but about taking small, consistent steps towards a positive mindset, because you don't want the. Your brain and your mind should be 50-50. 50-50 meaning 50% negative, 50% positive. You don't want that negativity to go ahead and take over three quarters of your brain or all of your brain, because that impacts your health and your well-being. So let's recap Do something different, dsd.

Cathy: 46:03

Whether it's changing up your daily routine, trying a new hobby or simply altering the perspective during like a walk, doing something different can refresh your outlook and bring moments of joy into your day. Versus CCC catch, cancel and correct when negative thoughts arise. Catching them, canceling their impact and correcting them with a positive alternative can significantly reduce stress and build resilience. So, to kind of end today, I want you to take away these things when you're starting to practice this. Remember small things. It's something small.

Cathy: 46:45

Implement one small change at a time. Maybe it's dedicating 10 minutes each day to a new activity or taking a moment to practice CCC when you feel overwhelmed. Another one is be consistent. Like building your muscle, consistency is key. Make these practices a regular part of your day and over time, you'll notice a significant shift in your mindset. And I'm all about the last piece here is celebrating your progress. Acknowledge and celebrate your efforts, no matter how small. If you tried it and you were able to catch it and cancel, but you weren't able to correct it, at least you got two pieces done. Next time you'll get the third one. Each step you take towards a positive mindset is a victory worth recognizing.

Cathy: 47:35

I want to leave you with just a few thoughts here. Cultivating a positive mindset isn't about ignoring the challenges or suppressing your emotions. It's about empowering yourself to navigate those challenges with more joy and resilience and, most importantly, grace. These mindset practices are not quick fixes, but they are invaluable tools that can transform your caregiving experience. Again, I'd love to hear from you. What are you thinking about doing differently? How are you planning to catch, cancel and correct these negative thoughts? I want you to share your experiences by clicking on that send Kathy a message right in the show notes and telling us that I'll read those next week.

Cathy: 48:24

Remember your stories. Your examples can inspire and support fellow caregivers who are on the same journey. Before we go, a quick reminder Take a moment each day to breathe, reflect and practice kindness towards yourself. Your well-being matters just as much as the person that you're caring for. And thank you again for joining the Caregiver Cup podcast today. If you found this episode helpful, can you do me a favor? Please subscribe, leave a review. That's the only way podcasts get more attractions. Besides downloads, share it with other caregivers who might benefit from these mindset strategies. And again, stay tuned for next week, because we're going to be interviewing another caregiver next week and I can't wait for you to hear Katy's story. So until next time, my friend, take care of yourself and continue finding moments of joy in your caregiving journey. Bye.